


Emma Finds That Home Is Where the Heart Is

by VioletStella



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a happily ever after, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletStella/pseuds/VioletStella
Summary: Emma's chickens come home to roost. Set in a universe where Emma went back to New York after Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff departed. Killian and Emma didn't have a certain conversation. Angst level: High.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Emma Swan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

As she pulled up to her parents' house, Emma once again questioned her decision. Coming back to Storybrooke after having been away for so long wasn't going to be easy. The thought of turning back to New York crossed her mind, but with Henry off to college and making it clear to her that he had no plans to spend time in New York during breaks or after graduation, this seemed her best option. She was lonely in New York, she hated to admit that, but it was true. So here she was, returning to everything she'd turned her back on; the town, her family, and him. She was not going to think about Killian Jones right now, she refused. He was part of the turmoil she'd tried to escape, never once realizing he could've been her strongest ally in navigating the uncertain tides of life. 

Her mother came running out of the house as Emma put the car into park. By the grace of a very good mechanic the yellow Bug still had life in her. Emma had barely exited the car when Snow pulled her into a tight hug. “Welcome home, honey, we missed you so much,” she said. 

“Yeah, sure, mom. It's good to see you too.” Still not really comfortable with this decision or situation, Emma was relieved to see her father and Neal also coming out of the house to greet her. Neal, her younger brother who she barely knew. She chalked this up as another reason to come back to Storybrooke, to try and cobble together whatever family life they could at this point. She told herself she was staying with her parents only long enough to get her own place. Emma hugged her Dad and brother and the whole family went into the house for dinner before unpacking the car. 

Still traveling lightly through life, it didn't take long for Emma to put her things away the next day. She did, however, procrastinate on the final box, the one holding anything with an emotional attachment. Knowing the only way out was through, Emma opened the box and pulled out her baby blanket. She held it for a moment and then folded it and put it in a drawer. Various pictures and mementos from Henry's life were also moved from the box, finding a new home either on or in her desk. 

When she could no longer avoid it, she pulled out the last item in the box; a framed copy of a page from the story book. She'd long ago memorized every detail of her dancing with Killian at King Midas' ball, the picture had been hanging in her bedroom for years. It was and continued to be one of the happiest moments of her life; followed by the most overwhelming. Upon leaving the Enchanted Forest, the responsibilities of Storybrooke weighed on her. The pressure of the expectations for her, the surprise of her own magic, and the bewilderment concerning what she'd termed her “Killian Confusion” sent her running back to New York where she could ignore her emotional limbo and surround herself with the cacophony of the city and bury her fears in work. 

It was a strategy that worked most of the time. To be certain there were moments when she'd look at the picture and wondered if she made the correct choice, but any such thoughts were usually quickly whisked away and thrown behind a door in her mind marked, “Do Not Enter!” All feelings for Killian were stored there, leaving her heart numb, almost detached from herself. At least, she always told herself, it wasn't literally detached as so often happened to people in Storybrooke, ignoring the fact that even though Cora failed to remove it, she'd effectively done the job herself. 

“Emma!” Snow called upstairs, “you ready to go to Granny's for something to eat?” 

Emma jumped, feeling like a teenager who had been caught smoking by her mother. Emma reminded herself that there was nothing wrong with having this picture. Still, for reasons she didn't care to explore, she hid the picture behind a dresser and yelled, “I'll be right down,” to her mother. 

David and Snow sat in their usual booth, with Emma opposite them. Neal had gone over to a friend's house to play video games, so wasn't part of the group. Emma wasn't exactly comfortable, there were too many happy people here and they all insisted that she'd been away for too long. She felt it hadn't been too long, it was only a year since her last visit. She wanted to keep her return as low-key as possible. Coming back to a place she had deserted felt like failure to her. She wondered if she had ever really been free from Storybrooke. The lyrics, “you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave,” from “Hotel California” resonated with her on a level they never had before. She supposed that that had always been true, she'd just never acknowledged it until now. 

Not long after their food arrived, Emma heard the door open. Her back was to the door, but she knew. It was Killian, it was inevitable. Part of her was relieved that this most uncomfortable of all greetings was happening so soon after her return, the quicker they got this over with the better; a larger part of her had hoped they'd never have to see each other. That was irrational, of course, Storybrooke wasn't that big, it would be impossible to never see him. How would she cope with him when he wasn't so 'out of sight, out of mind'? Was there anything left to fear? Shouldn't anything they had felt for each other dissipated long ago? She noted her parents worried expressions and started some small talk to distract them.

Killian picked up his to go order from Ruby. Nothing had changed, the first thing he'd noticed after opening the door was Emma's presence. Manners dictated that he greet the Charming family in some fashion. He walked over to the table and Emma looked up. There he was, the proverbial road not taken; not only not taken, but avoided and barricaded like a street in a Parisian student uprising. 

Killian spoke, “the prodigal Swan has returned.”

“Hi, Killian,” Emma tried to smile but it felt forced. What didn't feel forced was that suddenly her pulse was racing. 

They could both feel the eyes of everyone in the diner on them. 

“Henry told me you were coming back; I confess, I didn't quite believe him. Now I have to honor the bet we made and buy him this new video game he wants.”

“Dare I ask what you wanted had you won?” 

“Ah, terms of the bet are only available to the bettors.” The agreement was that if Killian won the bet, Henry would have to ask out the young lady he'd noticed Henry gazing at from afar at the most recent town ball. He'd told him, “faint heart never won fair lady;” then added silently, “sometimes strong heart didn't either.” 

She smiled, “how about I bet that I can get the information from Henry?”

“I'll have to decline that bet, Swan. Henry and I swore a pirates' oath, there's no breaking it.”

“Not even for a mother?”

“Especially not,” he lilted and Emma felt that barricade start to weaken. 

Emma's “Killian Confusion” stormed back into her consciousness. She didn't want it there, Killian should have been long forgotten; in the past, yet here she was, practically flirting with him. Nothing had dissipated, at least not on her side.

“I'll let you enjoy your dinner, good seeing you, Swan,” Killian said. 

“See ya,” she answered. She noticed he was cordial, but distant, maintaining the same manner of being as he had during her short visits throughout the years. 

He acknowledged Emma's parents with a “Snow, David.” They bid him farewell and he took his leave. 

Emma tried to pass of the meeting as insignificant to her parents, but her blush betrayed her. Later that night, she moved the picture from its hiding place to a spot on the wall behind the door, where she could see it, but no one else would.

Killian spent the evening trying to figure out Emma; her return, and how he felt about her return. He came to no definitive conclusions. He'd compartmentalized Emma long ago. He was glad to see her as she was always fun to spar with, but was wary. He wondered if he should make a new bet with Henry concerning how long she would stay this time. He did hope that any future meetings with her would be less awkward than this one. They couldn't spend the rest of their lives tripping over their lack of conversation. Any thoughts of a romantic pursuit of Emma were quickly shut down. There was only so much rejection one man could take. And even if he did notice her blush tonight, he brushed it off as part of their always existent physical attraction. An attraction he thought it best to ignore. None of this meant he didn't still love her, it only meant that he was choosing to keep those feelings locked away.

Emma spent the next couple of weeks trying to readjust to Storybrooke. The process was starting to wear on her, she was tiring of smiling and saying, “thank you,” to people who said, “welcome home, Emma.” The words rang false, and they pushed her harshest reality into her face. She'd never had a home. Certainly there was never any place in her childhood that she'd felt welcome. Then her hoped for home with Neal was torn away from her; leaving her drifting from place to place until Henry showed up on her doorstep. It wasn't possible to consider Storybrooke home before the curse broke, it was just the place where she felt it necessary to stay to keep an eye on her son. Post break it was the place her parents wanted her to stay, but she never felt affiliated with the townspeople; they all had memories of shared time together in the Enchanted Forest and she had none. She thought she'd had a home when she and Henry lived in New York, it seemed equitable to her. She'd keep him there for school, but drop him off with her parents or Regina for the summer and other vacations. She knew Henry harbored an anger about being taken from Storybrooke that he never discussed with her. She thought he'd probably discussed it with Killian though. 

She had to acknowledge that this feeling of homelessness was at this point in time her own fault. She had to make more of an effort to create a home. An opportunity to do this soon presented itself, Emma didn't expect home building to be so challenging, but knew she couldn't back down. Killian had invited the family over to watch a football game. Killian had created a home in Storybrooke, Emma envied him that, although she suspected he was good at making a home wherever he was. Through the years he'd cultivated a life here, becoming a valued part of the community. He served on Storybrooke committees with David. He learned to drive and bought a car. He ran after school activities which could be anything from teaching the kids how to sail to coaching a junior soccer league. He'd become an avid sports fan through the years leading him to host many parties in his home. The Charming family, along with many other denizens of Storybrooke would be attending this one. Snow, David, and Neal had been to many previously, but for Emma, this was new territory.

They pulled up to the house and Emma suddenly found herself confronted with something she didn't expect. Henry had told her that Killian owned a home on solid land, but she never expected it to be this particular house. From time to time she'd let herself daydream about what her life in Storybrooke would have been like. She usually wound up in tears as the pictures in her mind drifted off into the ether, but that didn't stop her from indulging in these fantasies, especially when she was depressed. This was the house they lived in in her mind. She always thought that Killian would like it since it overlooked the water. Getting out of the car, Emma took a deep breath and pasted on a smile, hoping that it would cover her distress. It worked, no one in her family noticed anything wrong.

Killian welcomed the family into his home and they joined the rest of the guests watching the pre-game show. Emma didn't know what to do with herself, walking into this house was surreal. She now felt that her daydreams had trespassed on Killian's privacy, and that she had no right to be in this house. She felt awkward; then started to feel overwhelmed. She looked to her mother, who brought her over to where the food and drinks were set out. Emma decided that this was a good time for a drink. She popped open a beer and made the decision to forgo any food at this time. She settled herself into a chair off to the side, still keeping herself singular and lonely, even in a crowd. 

The game was a good distraction, Emma studiously avoided looking at Killian. He was being a gracious host and concerned himself with the needs of his guests. He sensed that Emma had hidden herself behind an invisible screen and didn't want to be disturbed, so he didn't disturb her. Emma cheered each touch down and celebrated another home team victory, but still felt detached from the group. She noted that she had detached herself and wondered if she would be able to create a home at all. 

Snow offered to help clean up, but Killian declined. He bid the family good evening and Emma was relieved as they walked down the front steps. That is until Neal asked, “why does Killian call you Swan?” 

“I never really thought about it, he just does.” 

“Has he always done that?”

Emma thought back, “yes.”

“And you don't have a problem with it?”

“No, why should I?” 

“Just seems weird that he calls you that and no one else does,” Neal said, showing his youth. 

“It isn't.” Emma liked being called Swan, but she certainly wasn't going to get into a conversation with her brother about the reasons why. Later in the evening David took his son aside to try to explain to him the concept of a pet name, but wasn't sure he had much success with trying to convey why Killian could use Swan even if he and Emma weren't together. To be fair, it's not likely that anyone would have much success clarifying that situation. 

About a month and a half after returning to Storybrooke, Emma still hadn't accomplished much toward her goal. She decided to visit the library and read through the story books that had been created in her absence. Life in Storybrooke had gone on without her. There were so many happily ever afters; people married, had kids, built community, it was astonishingly normal. She contrasted that with her own experience in Storybrooke and wondered where she had gone wrong. She pulled out the volume where she and Killian time traveled and skimmed through it. She touched the page where she and Killian were dancing, pleasant memories wafted through her mind, but they were quickly replaced by her current reality. She closed the book. She and Killian had run into each other in the street a few times; they exchanged pleasantries, discussed the weather, but that was it. She'd relegated him to 'lost opportunity and it's your own damned fault' in her mind.

She opened the book again and idly flipped through the pages. She stopped when she saw a picture of Killian and Blackbeard. The text read, “Killian traded the Jolly Roger to Blackbeard for a magic bean. He used the bean to travel between realms and bring Emma and Henry home to Storybrooke.” She reread the sentences, trying to comprehend words that made no sense. They made sense individually, but put together they might as well have been Greek. She shook her head, this wasn't possible. Killian would never trade the Jolly Roger for any reason; especially to Blackbeard. She concluded that the book was lying or that someone had tampered with it even though she knew the book never lied and that it wasn't likely that it had been altered. Suddenly she noticed the page was wet. She looked up, expecting to be angry at some leaky pipe, but realized that the wetness was her own tears. 

“No; this can't be,” she thought. “No, no, no,” she continued, struggling with the false belief that if she kept denying it, somehow the book would change. The tears kept falling, the words on the page started taunting her, “you Emma, he did this for you. He sacrificed all he had for you and you tromped all over it.” She argued that she didn't know; the taunting continued, “would it have mattered? Should it have mattered? Wasn't he enough for you even without this sacrifice?” She admitted that he was enough and the floodgates opened. Her tears fell unabated. She had to get out of the library before someone noticed that she was distraught. She slammed the book shut and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She put the book away and wished she had a pair of sunglasses, or at least some tissues. She ran to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face. The coldness temporarily stopped her crying. She dried her face with some scratchy paper towels and left the library. 

On the street she walked without purpose, unsure of her destination. Avoiding any and all residents of Storybrooke was her top priority. She walked the back streets in a daze, the phrase, “...Killian traded the Jolly Roger...,” was a haunting refrain in her mind. With each repetition she broke down a little more. She tried to get the thought out of her head, but it refused to go. The tears came back, she wiped them away, but couldn't keep up with the flow. She stopped in the middle of a deserted sidewalk and hugged herself. She literally didn't know where to turn. Home to her parents didn't seem like a good option because they would want to know what was wrong. Killian was definitely not an option. She thought of calling Henry, but he was in class. There was only one other choice. She hesitated, but pulled herself together enough to be seen on a busy street. She walked, desperation pushing her to the door of Archie's office. 

Emma knocked on the door. He had to be here, he had to answer. The tears were threatening again. She knocked harder. It was too late, the floodgates opened and with them everything she had kept locked up for years concerning Killian. She slid to the floor and curled up, trying to protect herself from the onslaught of emotions. Archie opened the door to see Emma in distress. He leaned down to get her attention, but only heard her mutter the words, “ship” and “sacrifice.” Not knowing what any of this meant he sat down on the floor and tried to get through to her. He called her name, but received no response. He pulled out his phone, called David and Snow, and apprised them of the situation. They were on their way immediately. 

Archie kept packs of tissues in his pockets, they came in handy for his line of work. He pulled one out and opened it, then dangled a tissue in front of Emma. She ignored it. He called her name again, but she continued to cry. He'd expected Emma to show up on his doorstep at some point, but not like this. 

Snow and David finally arrived, Snow's jaw dropped at the sight of her daughter. She ran over to her and pulled her close. “Emma honey, what's wrong?” 

Emma continued to sob. 

Snow took the tissue from Archie and wiped away some of Emma's tears, hoping to draw her out. 

David also sat down on the floor near Emma. He held her hand, trying to comfort her.

“How could he?” Emma said in a tortured voice.

“How could he what, Emma?” her mother asked.

Emma didn't answer, she burst into a new set of tears. 

All three of them figured she must mean Killian, so at least they had a starting point. 

Snow asked Archie, “do you know what she's talking about?”

Archie shook his head, “all she said before you arrived was 'ship' and 'sacrifice'.” 

David and Snow looked at each other, mystified, also unable to put the pieces together.

“Emma,” her mother begged, “please look at me.”

She opened her eyes, but Emma wasn't there, her eyes were vacant. She whispered, “no, no, no, no. no...,” Archie was concerned, “we may need to sedate her,” he said.

“You mean...hospitalize her?” Snow was so shocked, she could barely even say the word. 

“Yes.” 

“That seems rather extreme,” David said.

“It will put her in a state to move past this crisis and when she wakes, she may be in a better frame of mind to discuss this.”

David and Snow looked at each other, saddened by this new challenge in their daughter's life. This was not what they had envisioned in the Enchanted Forest, far from it. The nodded in agreement with each other and the sedation. 

Trying to get Emma to the hospital with as much secrecy as possible, Snow and David pulled Emma up and supported her between them. They tried to take a few steps, but Emma was shaking and faltered. She fell into Snow's arms and started screaming. David put his arms around them to protectively hold them steady. He saw anguish in his wife's eyes and did his best to send her silent comfort. Archie reluctantly called the ambulance, knowing that Emma's privacy was about to be invaded by Storybrooke's prying eyes. He was correct, the arrival of the ambulance brought everyone out of Granny's. Ruby gasped at seeing Emma on the stretcher. Emma had calmed down a little, Snow had been holding her hand since they exited the building. Ruby ran over to Snow and gave her a quick side hug. “What's wrong?” she asked. 

If Ruby hadn't been such a close and long time friend, Snow would have pushed her away, as it was she replied, “we don't know.” 

Ruby saw the fear for her daughter in Snow's eyes. She stepped away and said, “we'll be down at the hospital as soon as we can.” Snow nodded in reply as she departed, even though she didn't really register what Ruby said. 

Ruby and everyone else went back into the diner once the drama was over. Archie was correct, Emma was the talk of the town. Ruby quickly packed a basket so that Snow and David wouldn't have to deal with the horror of hospital food in addition to the horror they were already dealing with. She headed out to the hospital, but made one stop first. 

Killian was mid-ship when Ruby made it down to the Jolly Roger. “Something's wrong with Emma,” she shouted at him. 

“What?”

“Ambulance just took her to the hospital,” she said, out of breath. 

Killian felt his world turn upside down. 

“Come on!”

Killian stirred from his moment of stun and he and Ruby made their way to the hospital, where they found Granny waiting impatiently. She had no news for them, they settled in for a long wait. Regina showed up about fifteen minutes after their arrival. She'd called Henry and he was on his way home. 

Archie and David appeared some time later. They told everyone that Emma was resting and that Snow was staying with her. There was some discussion regarding actions they could take and it was decided that they would retrace Emma's steps from earlier with a reverse locator spell. They'd start at Archie's office and hopefully find their way back to where she started and find the cause of this. David considered this a quest for his daughter's health and went to retrieve the shirt Emma had been wearing and inform Snow of the plan. She nodded and continued to hold her unconscious daughter's hand. 

David, Killian, and Regina made their way back to Archie's office and started the spell. They retraced Emma's steps to the back streets. They paused where she paused, they walked where she walked.

Killian lost patience, “bloody hell, why are we meandering?” he demanded.

“It's not the spell's fault if Emma wandered.” Regina answered. 

“Can we just focus please,” David said, barely keeping his anger in check. 

They refrained from further comment until they reached the library. They went in and the shirt led them to the story book. Killian pulled it out and brought it to a table. Regina was on his left and David to his right. He opened the cover and the shirt turned to the page Emma saw last, the one with Killian and Blackbeard. 

“Interesting,” Regina noted. The men looked at her. She touched the page, “dried tear stains.”

“Archie did say that the only thing Emma said was, 'ship' and 'sacrifice,' this fits in with that,” David said. 

The shirt flipped a few more pages, bringing them back to King Midas' dance, then, its job complete, it dropped onto the table. 

“The dance and the ship, looks like this has something to do with you, pirate,” Regina noted.

“Not in the mood for your flippancy, Regina.” Killian was at a loss, he had no idea why these two pages would upset Emma so much. 

“The dance, of course. She has a copy of it framed at home. She thinks we don't know it's there,” David said. 

“Why would she have that?” Killian asked.

“Men,” Regina thought as she inwardly rolled her eyes. It was obvious to her that Emma still had it bad for the pirate. It was obvious to David also, he was just too worried about his daughter at the moment to connect the dots. Killian was too close to see it, in his mind Emma had shut him out and that was that. Plus, he was still trying to process the fact that Emma was in the hospital.

“I think we need to ask why she so suddenly had such a strong reaction to you trading your ship,” Regina prompted. 

“It is a rather delayed response,” David said. 

“Not necessarily,” Killian answered.

“Why?” 

“I never told her I traded the ship.”

David sat down on the table. “You never told her?” 

“It never came up in conversation.”

“For a man with such a long history with women, I'm surprised you didn't make this subject come up in conversation. You never saw it as a way to further your pursuit of Emma?” Regina said, scoring a direct hit.

Killian glared at her, “I did not trade the Jolly Roger with the intention that it would make Emma fall into my arms, if such crudeness is what you are implying.” He knew she was. “The objectives were: get to New York, get Emma and Henry, get them back to Storybrooke by any means possible. That was the means.” He left out the other reasons he'd traded the ship; but it was always in the back of his mind that someday the Jolly Roger would be his again, and it was. 

David stood up and placed his hands on the end of the table, his anger was starting to rise to the surface, “that isn't important right now. What's important is that Emma is hurting and we need to find a way to fix it. I should have known it would have something to do with you,” he said to Killian.

“This isn't my fault,” Killian answered. He'd been responsible for pain in his life, and he'd done his best to make amends; but he wasn't taking the blame for this. All he'd ever done was love Emma.

“Then whose fault is it?” David was losing control.

“You and Snow cast the curse, look at yourselves,” Killian said more harshly than he meant.

David let out a frustrated breath, knowing Killian had a point. He crossed his arms.

“This is getting us nowhere, let's take the book and go,” Regina said, from the other end of the table.

“So no one will bring up the fact that you cast the first curse?” David accused, putting his hands on the table and leaning in.

“It always comes back to that, doesn't it?” Regina stated defensively, also putting her hands on the table and leaning in.

“Yes, it does. Emma should have grown up with Snow and me. She wouldn't be in this mess right now. She was an infant and you tried to kill her. There are times...”

Killian struck the table with his hook and said, “truce! Let's focus on Emma in the present, shall we?”

“Fine.” David grabbed the book and headed for the door with purpose in his walk. Killian picked up Emma's shirt. Regina gave him a look that made sure he knew she saw him. He ignored her, after all, they couldn't just leave it there. They caught up to David and made their way back to the hospital. David took the book and shirt upstairs and Regina and Killian met up with Granny and Ruby in the waiting room. Neal had arrived during the time they were gone and they all gratefully ate some of the food Ruby brought for them. 

After eating and knowing it would still be some time before Henry arrived, Killian separated himself from the group to try and process the day's events. He found a quiet corner where the lights were a little dimmer. There was a large window, almost floor to ceiling, with a broken blind hanging askew. He sat in an olive green faux leather chair and propped his feet up on a worn down coffee table. He crossed his arms, stared out the window and settled in for a long vigil. The sun was beginning to set, he wasn't sorry to see the day go. 

Killian reflected on what this turbulent day had brought into sharp focus for him; that nothing in his life had felt right since they'd had the argument over her returning to New York. He replayed the scene in his head. There was Emma, walking out of Granny's after arguing with her parents. She marched over to her car. He followed her, catching up to her before she opened the door. 

“Swan, think about what you're doing.”

“I have thought about it. All I've done for days is weigh my options.”

“What's there for you in New York?”

“It's what's not there,” she gestured all around her, “Storybrooke. The drama, the magic, the crisis after crisis after crisis...” 

“You're good in a crisis, people trust you.” 

“Thank you, but this savior...stuff; that's not a job title, and even if it is, I don't want it. I don't want magic.”

“Don't want or don't want to cultivate?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.” 

“Not to me. I didn't ask for any of this. I wasn't looking for any of this. I don't need any of this.” 

He'd felt the rug starting to be pulled out from underneath him at this point. Emma didn't have to spell it out, he knew she meant she never asked for him to be part of her life. He knew that it was always in the back of her mind to leave, but he'd hoped that traveling through time had changed her mind, it seemed to for a while but now she was pulling away again, and this time it might be permanent. He tried a different tactic, “You spent your life searching for your family, and you found them. Now you want to turn your back on them?” 

Emma went for an evasive maneuver, “I'll come back for Henry at the end of the summer.”

“Your parents?” He wouldn't let her deflect that easily. 

“I'll see them when I pick up Henry.”

“Emma, they'll miss you.”

“Phones work. Many people live far away from their parents.”

How could he get her to see that she might someday regret squandering her time with her parents? “Emma, your parents made a difficult choice and have lived with the consequences as best they could. Don't you care about their pain?” 

“Of course I care,” she said in anger, “but I have to do what's best for me; and that's leaving all this behind. It was easier when I didn't remember.”

That stung. “You consider a false life in New York to be better than your real life here? Easier isn't always better. And you will have your memories this time.”

“Which is why I need to get out of here. It's too much, it's too overwhelming. Life in New York was uncomplicated; well, it was normal complicated, not Storybrooke level of complicated.”

“You have friends here.”

“I have no one.” 

That had hurt. “That's not true. There are many people who are not out to betray you.”

She had the grace to look ashamed. In her eyes he saw her wavering, but then something happened within her and her eyes grew cold. “Fine, I have people,” she'd conceded, “but I still have to go.”

“You don't have to, you're choosing to. Why are you so afraid of being your true self?”

“I'm not afraid.”

“Everyone is afraid of something, Emma; but don't let the fear govern you.”

Something he'd said made her pause. She'd looked at him, and he could see an inner debate happening. But whatever she'd internally grappled with he'd never known. He had seen the conclusion as her shoulders slumped and she turned away. She grasped the car door handle.

“Emma,” he touched her cheek in desperation, she flinched and pulled away quickly. “My apologies,” he said. He'd lost her. He didn't know what he did or said, but he'd lost her. It was at this moment that he realized that although Emma had fought and won many battles in her life, the war with her past was one she had yet to win. He feared she might never conquer her past. He stepped away and said, “Emma, my gratitude and friendship are ever yours. It has been an honor to spend time with you. Fair winds and safe journeys, Swan.” 

She'd been turned away from him while he said this, but he'd caught a glimpse of her anguished face in the side view mirror. 

“Thank you,” she choked out as she opened the car door. She got in and drove away. He'd watched her leave for a world without him in it; again, and that glimmer of light that she had brought into his soul dimmed as she drove away. He'd walked down to the docks and stared out over the bay for the rest of the day. He'd grappled with that bitter realization that she been happier in New York not remembering he even existed than she was here with him and all her memories. He truly had thought about her every day during that horrible year and knowing now that she'd almost been engaged only fueled his anger. Walsh. He hated the guy on principle. If he'd had any idea that there was anyone pursuing Emma he'd have traded the ship sooner. It hurt that she had forgotten him, he'd hoped that there was a part of her that felt something was missing in her life, she just didn't know what. That delusion had been debunked the second he saw Walsh; and saw her happy with him. He'd felt the anger over Emma's desertion creeping into his thoughts and he worried that the darkness might overtake him again.

He remembered that eventually Henry stopped by to see him at the dock. He'd motioned for Henry to sit down beside him and he did. 

“So, mom can be a little stubborn.”

“Aye,” he smiled ruefully in agreement.

“I've been talking to grandma, gramps, and mom...Regina mom, we are trying to work out something so I don't have to go back.”

“Henry, you don't like this decision, your grandparents don't like this decision, I don't like this decision; and here's a surprise, your mother doesn't like this decision either.”

“If she doesn't like this decision then why did she make it?”

“She's in a great deal of pain. A betrayal from you would create catastrophic consequences.”

“How would doing what I want betray her? Doesn't she want me to be happy?” 

“You are the only person she trusts completely. She needs you. She doesn't trust her parents or me. If you stayed here, she would see it as a continuation of the way your father betrayed her. Go back, support her, don't bring up Storybrooke. Let her be your mom. You're the only person she feels safe to love. She loves her parents, certainly, but the relationship is fragile.” As to whether or not she loved him, it was not a topic to think about or discuss with Henry. “If she can express her love for you maybe someday she'll learn that it's safe to love others as well; eventually, hopefully. Call it 'Operation Cinnamon'.”

“Why cinnamon?”

“To honor your family's penchant for it with hot chocolate and because it sounds innocuous enough so that if your mother ever overheard us talking about it on the phone, she won't suspect that it's about her. Although we will need a cover story just in case she does.” 

“We'll be talking on the phone after I get back to New York?”

“Aye; you, me, your grandparents, we all have a stake in this.” 

“Cool. I'm going to head back to tell them about this. See you later.”

“Later, mate.” He'd been grateful that Henry sensed he needed solitude. 

“Killian,” a voice called from across the hospital waiting room. Killian looked up to see that Henry had finally arrived. He left the chair to go over and greet him. They didn't have much time to talk as Henry had texted his grandfather on his way in from the parking lot. David and Archie came downstairs together and David quickly took Henry upstairs to see his mom. Archie informed everyone that Emma was likely to sleep through the night, then went back upstairs just in case she didn't. 

Killian went back to his recently vacated seat. Granny, Ruby, Regina, and Neal were leaving for the night, but he was staying. Ruby brought the basket with the remnants of food in it over to him.

He looked up and said, “thanks.”

“I'll bring more in the morning.” 

“I'll be here.” 

“I know you will, try to get some rest, please.” 

“I'll try, I promise.” 

Ruby left and Killian did try to make good on his promise, but sleep was evasive throughout the night. He kept going over the fallout of Emma's departure. Life in Storybrooke became one of whispers and sorrowful looks whenever he walked by certain residents. He hated that, and he was angry with Emma for leaving him and making him an object of pity. He was angry with himself for falling in love with her in the first place. He wasn't looking for love, but it had dropped into his life with such force he'd had no way to fight it. Mostly, he was angry with himself for not being able to find a way to break through Emma's fear; she'd broken through his fear but he felt himself a failure because he could not break through hers. 

He still loved her and a part of him couldn't forgive himself for that. He should have been able to let her go. She should have been relegated to lost love status, but as he often reminded himself, he couldn't lose what was never his in the first place. That thought only brought up regret. What could he have done to convince her to stay? It wasn't a lack of declaration, he'd never been coy regarding his intentions concerning her. He'd wondered if he'd misread her and worried that maybe she never cared for him at all; other times he found it easier to pretend that was the truth. Every once in a while he told himself that he should have recreated his Enchanted Forest persona. Emma seemed to enjoy spending time with a part of him he'd left behind. Then he reflected on the fact that he was probably the only man in history to be jealous of himself. Sometimes he wished that time portal had never taken them; and others he wished they could have stayed there forever. 

He could see her inner beauty trying to free itself from her past, but she'd never been able to accept help with that process. Everyone who tried to help her was pushed away, it was a small comfort that her parents were among those rebuffed, too. 

Another small comfort was that through the years Henry had never mentioned any suitors for his mother. He thought there could be three possibilities for this: Henry could have been lying, which he didn't consider likely; or Emma was keeping any paramours secret from her son, which was possible, but he didn't think probable; or she'd shut down any thoughts of romance. With Emma's track record he thought that to be her choice on the matter. Knowing her, she'd thrown herself into her work and raising Henry, deliberately leaving herself no time for any man to disrupt her solitude.

He could do nothing through the years for his own forced solitude. He was used to loneliness and never considered courting any of the women of Storybrooke during Emma's absence. None of them held his attention as Emma did; and none of them wanted to play second fiddle to Emma. They knew that if she ever did return to him, they'd be thrown over. That was another cause for anger for him; he couldn't move forward and there was no going back. He tried, he really did, but how does one move on from a person who brought light to a dark, lonely journey? He didn't know how she did it. How did she take away the need for vengeance? Out of all the women he'd met through the years, how was she he one who broke through the darkness? They were questions he'd never really been able to answer with any satisfaction, but every once in a while he chalked up to her savior status. She not only saved Storybrooke, she saved him, too. 

Eventually he'd worked through the anger and heartbreak by seeing Emma as captured by her fears, unable to free herself. He'd cordoned off a section of his heart and placed her there. This kept his feelings for her out of his day to day life, but didn't diminish them. Then he'd set to work on building his own life in Storybrooke. For the most part he was happy with the results. There was laughter and the satisfaction that he was making a positive contribution; but there were moments when he'd missed Emma. Some nights he'd sit alone on the deck of the Jolly Roger and long for her companionship. Other times Storybrooke would throw a ball and although he performed his duty as a gentleman and never let a lady sit out, none of those dances could compare to dancing with Emma. Sometimes he'd be sitting at Granny's and felt like Emma would be walking through the door at any second, infuriated over something, but the diner remained quiet. He did develop a fondness for grilled cheese though.

Morning broke and even though he'd nodded off a couple of times, his sleep was not restful. All he had to show for the night was the knowledge that if his relationship with Emma was complicated before, now it was a Gordian Knot.

Upstairs more exhausted people watched the sunrise after an excruciating night. The only one who slept peacefully was Emma. Snow spent the night in a chair next to the bed, never letting go of Emma's hand for one second, even during the short intervals when she fell asleep. David and Henry had taken up residence sitting at opposite ends of a couch, occasionally drifting off, but never for long. Archie had an office at the hospital, he had started forming a treatment plan for Emma before he fell asleep at his desk. 

Emma's first thought when she came back to consciousness was that her parents' house sounded different this morning. Her second thought was to wonder who was holding her hand. She opened her eyes to find out the answers and turned her head to see. “Mom?” she asked. 

“Emma,” she answered, grateful that her daughter was awake, but still very worried about her. David and Henry were up off the couch and over to her bedside in an instant. Emma was surprised to see them and noticed that she was in an unfamiliar room, she asked, “what's going on?”

“What do you remember?” Snow asked.

“I...not much...library,” she closed her eyes tightly. Snow looked at her husband who said, “I'll tell Archie she's awake.” He left instantly.

“Archie?” Emma was still confused by all this.

“You don't remember going to his office?”

“No.”

This was worse than Snow had feared. 

“It's going to be ok, mom,” Henry addressed Emma, but his words were more for Snow's benefit than anyone else's. 

“Henry, what are you doing here, why aren't you at school?”

“Mom,” he said as he picked up her other hand, “I got a call that you...weren't feeling well, so I came home.”

“I'm fine, kid, you don't need to be here. And can both of you please let go of me, you're starting to freak me out.” They let go of her and she said, “what is going on and what do you mean I wasn't 'feeling well'?” Snow and Henry looked at each other and Emma crossed her arms. David saved them any of Emma's ire by returning with Archie. 

“Good morning, Emma,” Archie said. 

“Good morning, can you tell me why I am here?” 

“What do you remember?” 

Emma put her head into her hands in frustration. She took a deep breath, dropped her hands, and lifted her head. “I remember the library,” she said angrily, “and I don't want to remember the library.” She cringed and started to cry again. Snow grabbed a tissue from the box on the table and gave it to Emma. She took it, dried her eyes, and started shaking her head. It was all coming back to her, at least to the point of collapsing on Archie's doorstep. “Can everyone stop staring at me, please? I'm not a side show.” 

“We're concerned, Emma,” her mother said. 

“I had a little breakdown, I'm past it.” The denial was still strong in Emma. “How did I get here?” 

“Ambulance,” her father answered. 

“Oh great, I am a side show. Storybrooke must be all abuzz at this bit of gossip. I'm out of here, time to head back to New York, this hasn't worked,” she started to get out of bed, but her mother put her hand on her arm, “we feel it's best for you to stay here.”

“I'm not staying in Storybrooke, not after this. I was better off in New York.” 

“Emma,” Archie said gently, “you're staying in the hospital. “We're setting up treatment for you here.”

“What? You can't do that, you can't hold me against my will.” 

“If I have reason to be concerned about your mental health, I can, and I have three people who will back me up on that.” All three of them nodded.

Emma looked at her family, and that familiar feeling of betrayal started to wend its way through her, she lashed out, “this is ridiculous. I'm fine, and I will be even more fine when I leave Storybrooke for good. I never should have come back.” 

“That will be a good topic for discussion later today.” 

“Later?” 

“After we finish admitting you and moving you to your new room.” 

“I can't believe this.” 

“Emma,” her mom said before Emma cut her off.

“Mom,” she protested.

“Please.” In her mother's eyes, Emma saw something she'd never seen before, fear for her daughter. 

Emma rolled her eyes. “Fine, if it makes you happy, then I'll spend a couple of days in the looney bin.” 

“Let's start by calling it a mental health facility,” Archie said.

Emma rolled her eyes again and smiled overly-sweetly, “of course. Lead on, let's get this over with.” 

Her family all breathed an internal sigh of relief. The nurses and administration were efficient in moving Emma, but Emma felt railroaded. Suddenly she was not in control of her own life, and the cause of that loss of control was her own family. She resented their interference and the feeling of betrayal continued to grow. She wanted to balk when they led her to a ward behind locked doors, complete with security officers. This was not the environment she expected. She thought there'd be a normal hospital room and that she would be obligated to talk to Archie and he would respond in a comforting voice and that would be that. 

Emma looked at her new room and it reminded her of a place she'd hope to never revisit: prison. The room had two beds and a sink, but no bathroom. They'd already taken her clothes last night, now they insisted she change from yesterday's hospital clothes into maroon scrubs made from some synthetic materiel and gray socks with those little rubber things so she wouldn't slip. She was glad to be rid of the IV, but they had taken everything else from her too. She had no phone, no jewelry, no wallet; nothing. Suddenly she felt like a non-person. She didn't like it there, feeling it was much more than was necessary for her condition. She felt the walls closing in around her. 

She wondered why her life kept circling around, dredging up wounds that had never healed in the first place. Darkness overcame her as she realized that she was going to be here for more than just a couple of days. She wanted to break out, this was worse than prison, at least there she knew when she was getting out. Her defenses went on high alert; all shields were up. Even though her mother was going to stay with her, to the point where she changed into scrubs and no shoes as well, she still felt alone. 

All of them; Emma, her parents, and Henry met in Archie's office after Emma was settled in. “I protest this situation,” was the first thing Emma said. 

“Duly noted,” Archie replied, “but you're staying.” 

Emma sat down in a huff. “So what do we do? Word association? Hypnotherapy? Charades?”

“How about we all just talk.” 

“About what?” 

“About what we can do to work through what caused your breakdown.”

This wasn't good, Emma knew that her breakdown was caused by her repressed feelings for Killian and there was no possible way she was going to share that information with anyone. She was doomed. 

“I don't see the point of that. Just give me some meds and let me go.” 

“Emma, we will be working with many types of therapy, and some day you will be released, but not today.”

“This is ridiculous.” 

“Emma,” her mother started. 

Emma ignored her mother and addressed Archie, “do they have to stay? I don't like being around people who betray me.” 

“Betray?” her mother said, “Emma, we are trying to help.” 

“Doesn't feel like it.” 

Archie said, “if you want them to go, then ask them to go.”

“Please leave, all of you.”

Snow thought that if Emma ripped out what was left of her heart and crushed it, she was sure that that would not hurt more than those words. She looked at Archie for reprieve, but he shook his head. All three of them rose to leave. Henry hugged his mom tightly. David kissed his daughter on her cheek and said, “remember, we love you.” Snow held back her tears long enough to hug her daughter and quickly left the room. She shut the door and fell into her husband's arms, crying. He ushered her away from the door so Emma wouldn't hear her. 

Relieved by the departure of her family, Emma said, “I know you're not stupid, you know the cause of this.”

“You are the one who has to come to terms with yourself.” 

“What's there to come to terms with? I know the cause and I know there's no solution. Done. I can leave now.”

“Not done, we're here to find a solution and to explore why you feel betrayed by those who love you most. Why you live in denial. Why you ran, and why you still want to run, especially from yourself. It's time to face your fears, all of them.” 

“Oh, is that all?” 

She took a deep breath and stared out the window, saying nothing more for the duration of the session. 

Henry, Snow, and David went downstairs to talk with their friends assembled in the waiting room. David kept his arm around Snow all the way down and the whole time they were there. Ruby had been true to her word and brought more food for them. Killian, Granny, Regina, and Neal made room for them on the couches. 

“She kicked us out,” Snow said and burst into tears again. David comforted her, “it's only temporary, Snow.”

“She thinks we betrayed her and imprisoned her,” Snow said through sobs. 

“Grandma, you know mom pushes people away, it's part of her 'hurt them before they hurt you' defense mechanism, but she's here now, and she will get through this,” Henry said.

“'...pushes people away,' that's the understatement of the year,” Killian thought.

Snow calmed and the group discussed plans for supporting Emma through her greatest challenge. They set up a visiting schedule. David suggested nightly family dinner, so Emma would be surrounded as much as she could by those who loved her the most. Snow, David, and Neal would be constants, and sometimes friends would join them, too. This plan was carried out as was Snow's idea to stay with Emma overnight, which Emma liked, even if she didn't admit it. The next day Emma still didn't let anyone in session with Archie, which would have been pointless anyway as she still wasn't talking. She did, however, spend time with her family in the game room. She felt strong enough to insist that Henry go back to school. He protested, but they set up a time for Henry to call her every day via a portable phone kept at the nurses' station and that satisfied everyone. Henry went back to school the next day, faithfully called his mother every night, and came home to see her on weekends.

Days went by and Emma was still no closer to confronting the feelings that had once again been locked away. She worked on other issues with Archie and even let her parents back into her sessions. This was a tactic on her part, hoping that they would talk so she wouldn't have to. Archie saw through it, of course, but he wanted Snow and David to be there as a way of drawing Emma out. 

A surprise for Emma was that as the days turned into weeks, many people came to visit her. She'd never realized she had so many friends in Storybrooke. This gave her a building block. There were times when people visited that she felt something almost approaching happiness. The happiness was mixed with a little envy as her visitors were connected to the outside world, which accentuated her feelings of separation. Sometimes she was allowed to walk out in the hospital's garden with a companion. She was usually accompanied by her parents, but sometimes Regina went instead. Archie thought it would be good for Emma to reconnect with a facet of herself she had ignored, so Regina was teaching Emma the basics of magic. Emma liked the sense of power that this gave her. Granny and Ruby visited every day and always brought her pastries, which she loved; but there was one person who never visited, nor was he ever mentioned by anyone, Killian. 

One day she was sitting in the game room putting together a puzzle of a coastline. She hadn't see it when she picked up the box, but there was a sailing ship in the puzzle. She stopped, stared at it, then declaring it a stupid puzzle, she scattered the pieces. Thoughts of Killian raced through her head. She couldn't blame him for never visiting, why would he even want to see her? She thought he must be so relieved that she wasn't part of his life. It wasn't easy to admit to herself that the person she'd hurt the most by leaving was Killian. The tears were coming, she could feel them. She left the game room, longing for a walk outside, but she didn't want her mother to see her so vulnerable, so she found a corner with an oversized chair and looked outside as she cried. If nothing else, the scrubs were good at soaking up her tears. She was angry with herself for still caring about him when his love for her had turned to contempt long ago. 

Emma couldn't have known, but Archie was keeping Killian away, waiting until she was recovered enough to be able to see him. She also couldn't have known that just because Archie had prohibited him from seeing Emma didn't mean he wasn't in the building. He arrived every morning and waited for any word from Archie. He didn't leave until Archie came down to tell him that it would not be today that he would get to see Emma. He did have an occasional moment; if Emma was outside, he was able to see her if he went up to the second floor nook. He could see her from his usual place in the main waiting room as well, but felt he could stay better hidden from her upstairs. He thought she looked tired, but still strong. He was tiring of this situation as well; but his malaise stemmed from being frustrated and adrift, wanting to help, but being barred from taking any action.

A few weeks into her hospitalization Emma was having a difficult day. She was at her usual session with Archie and her parents. She'd made progress with her denial, but now her emotions were overwhelming her. For once she wasn't trying to hide them. Snow was sitting at the end of the couch and Emma was curled up in her lap, crying. Snow stroked her daughter's hair and made sure the box of tissues stayed near Emma's hands. When Emma was recovered enough she said, “why can't there be an emotional version of Dumbledore's Pensieve that could take away this pain? I'd even be happy with the type that he had that takes away memories.”

Emma assumed everyone had read the Harry Potter series, and she was correct. 

Snow bit her lip, then said, “Emma, that would be trying to escape, rather than working through things,” he mother kept her mouth shut about knowing this from personal experience. “You don't want to magic away the feelings that make you, you.” 

“Maybe I don't want to be me.”

“Who do you want to be?” 

“Dunno; just not me. Too much darkness.” She sniffed a couple of times and continued, “Killian once said that being on the ship took away the darkness.”

Archie and David surreptitiously looked at each other, they had both noticed that this was the first time she had mentioned Killian. 

“Do you want to go sailing, Emma?” her mother asked. 

“Doesn't matter. I can't imagine he would want to help me; and I could never ask him.”

“We could ask, we could ask him right now, it's a good day for sailing,” her mother suggested.

“No mom, he traded his home, his freedom, his escape from the darkness for me. I can't ask him to do anything else. I'm tired, I'd like to take a nap.” She needed to get out of there, another wave of heartbreak was approaching and it felt like a strong one. They let her go back to her room and she cried herself to sleep feeling hopeless as there was no way for him to forgive her, and no way for her to forgive herself. 

Snow and David stayed to talk with Archie. Snow said, “Emma doesn't know that he would take her sailing this instant, but we do, let's go ask.” 

“Let Emma rest and let me take care of it,” Archie said. They agreed and Snow and David went to the cafeteria for a snack. 

Archie went downstairs with a smile on his face because he finally had good news for Killian.

David and Snow went to check on their daughter, she was still sleeping peacefully. David kissed her good night. He and Snow went downstairs to talk to Killian, but were shocked to see he wasn't there. At a loss, David kissed Snow good night and left for home. Snow went back upstairs, upset that the one time they needed Killian to be there, he was no where to be found.


	2. Chapter 2

While Emma slept that night Killian silently walked into her room. Snow was sleeping in the bed closer to the door, so he had to be extra quiet to get to where Emma slept. Making sure to tread carefully, he crossed to the far side of Emma's bed and knelt down. He gently touched her hand and she opened her eyes. He put a finger over his lips to make sure she didn't startle and wake her mother. Then he whispered, “come sailing, Swan.”

Emma blinked a couple of times as she still wasn't quite conscious and wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not.

“Come sailing,” was repeated. 

Emma woke fully, still not quite believing what she was seeing. “Killian?”

“Aye, lass; come sailing.” 

She smiled, a moonlight sail with the wind whipping through her hair sounded like bliss. She took Killian's offered hand, grabbed a blanket to throw over her scrubs as a cape and tiptoed with him past her still sleeping mother. As they exited the room she said, “we didn't have to be so quiet, when she is asleep it's like she's back under the sleeping curse.”

Killian nodded and pointed to the floor, a pair of sneakers waited for her there. She whispered, “thanks” as she hurriedly put them on. She felt that at any moment a nurse, doctor, or aide would walk down the hall and ruin her evening. “How did you get past security?” she asked as she finished tying the second shoe.

“Pirate,” he winked. He wasn't going to get into detail about how Archie had helped set this in motion, and notified everyone on staff tonight not to apprehend Emma or Killian. 

She grinned, glad to be on an escapade with him, it felt good to be running through the corridors of the hospital hand in hand with him, exhilarated by this prison break and the trepidation that she could be caught at any moment. 

They made it out of the hospital and continued running hand in hand down to the Jolly Roger. Emma thought she had never seen a more beautiful sight, freedom was at hand. Killian looked at her, her features were filled with a joy he hadn't seen in years and he took comfort in the fact that he was able to give her this joy. 

“Shall we board?”

She looked at him, smiled broadly, and nodded. He led her up the steps to the aft deck and set sail. Emma's recent cultivation of her magic would be useful should the wind not be sufficient for sailing, she could conjure a good breeze with the wave of her hand if necessary. 

In the middle of the night there were no other ships to contend with in the bay. Emma was free to run around the deck, she breathed in the salt air, letting it cleanse her soul. Her hair flowed in the breeze, sometimes hitting her in the face, but she didn't care. She knew Killian was right, sailing did help fight the darkness. 

At the wheel, Killian watched over her, glad to see her being able to indulge in a moment of happiness. 

“Come on and take the wheel, Swan.” 

She turned her head, and nodded eagerly, then made her way there. 

Killian made room for her and she grasped the spokes. This simple act gave her a sense of power she had not felt in quite some time. She steered the ship under Killian's direction and delighted watch. Finally, he could do something to help Emma instead of just pacing in the hospital waiting room. He was grateful for this opportunity. 

After a few moments he realized she was cold. It shouldn't have been a surprise, hospital attire was not made for the high seas. “Emma, keep the wheel steady, I'm getting you a coat.”

She nodded in acknowledgment, too engrossed in bliss to verbalize or even register that she was cold. Killian returned quickly, carrying his coat from the Enchanted Forest days. Emma smiled when she saw it. She removed the hospital blanket which wasn't practical and gladly put the jacket on. It was, of course, too big on her, but she didn't care, as she was surrounded by warmth; and a sense of protection. She resumed steering, Killian took a stance to her left. 

She chortled. 

“What?” 

“I feel like a pirate,” she said proudly. 

He smiled, “just don't make me walk the plank.”

She grinned at him, “hhmmm, maybe; maybe not.” 

“And on what does that depend, Swan?”

“Whether or not you have any chocolate stashed anywhere.”

“Chocolate? You're a pirate, you're supposed to care about gold.”

“Gold? Chocolate is better than gold. Chocolate is better than anything.” 

He bit back replies, all of which would have been inappropriate at this time of their lives. He wanted to wink at her and say, “anything?” or “I can provide solid evidence to the contrary,” but instead said, “Noted, Emma.” 

“So, no chocolate, I take it.” 

“Sorry, Swan, guess it's the plank for me.”

“Well, just this once I can be benevolent.” 

“Thank you.” 

The night wore on, but they continued to sail, both feeling content and wishing this night would never end. Alas, time flew too quickly, Killian knew he had to get Emma back “home.” He didn't want to take her back to the place that was so bleak and depressing. He wasn't sure that being there had even helped Emma's recovery, he could see in her eyes how much pain she was still in. Killian gently, and regretfully, took the wheel and sailed into port. Emma could feel the happiness in her soul eroding away. The wind was being taken out of her own sails, in addition to the ship's sails. 

As they docked, they saw three figures on the pier: David, Snow, and Archie. 

“Damn,” Killian thought, he had not expected this. Archie had told him he was keeping Snow and David in the dark about this evening. He was surprised Archie went back on his word.

“Time to face the music, Swan,” he whispered in her ear. Emma wished she could experience Killian whispering to her more often, but pushed the thought out of her mind immediately to keep the depression from overtaking her. Killian escorted her down the steps. 

Snow stepped forward, livid. “What were you thinking?” she asked, every word laced with anger. This could have been addressed to either one of them, but Emma fielded the question. “I wanted to go sailing, remember?”

“You wanted to go sailing?” Snow repeated, apoplectically. “You say that like it's going to the grocery store.” 

“As I am not allowed to go there either, what's the difference?” 

“Emma, do you know how frantic I have been? I woke up and you weren't there. The staff and I searched the hospital, the grounds, everywhere for you. You could have been lost in the woods. I was terrified; and what are you doing wearing that coat?” 

Snow's sudden notice of the coat only made Emma close it more tightly around her. “It gets cold on the bay, mom.” 

“Emma, you don't seem to be taking this seriously.” 

“You seem to be taking it seriously enough for both of us.”

All the men who had been silently watching this, continued to silently watch, although the three of them were thinking vastly different thoughts. David was concerned about a possible rift between Snow and Emma and was trying not to think about how bad that would be for both of them. Archie was analytically processing every word and emotion. Snow had called him the second she realized Emma was missing, he had to play along with her search. It was David who had noticed the Jolly Roger was out when he was on the way to the hospital that brought the three of them down to the dock. Archie was glad to see that this adventure was working, but hoped it wasn't going to get out of hand. Killian was observing, trying to figure out if suddenly he'd made enemies of Snow, David, and Archie.

“Emma, you were gone. Anything...could have happened to you.” Snow skirted around her greatest fear.

Emma picked up this hesitation, “is that why you stay with me; because you think something will happen? Do you think I am going to commit suicide?” 

It took Snow a moment to answer, which was all the answer Emma needed; she crossed her arms. “Relax, mother, I am not suicidal.” 

Snow took a deep breath, wanting to believe Emma, but still afraid for her daughter and distressed that her greatest fear was brought out into the open.“Emma, I stay with you because I want to help you in any way I can. I want to hold you if you wake up crying in the middle of the night. I want to dry your tears...”

“Stop treating me like a baby! I am not that child you sent through a wardrobe. I don't think you've ever come to terms with that. Maybe you should be the one in therapy,” Emma said, ignoring the fact that since the whole family was in session, that technically, she was.

“Emma!” Snow recoiled. 

“Don't Emma me and I don't want you spending the night with me anymore. Go home.”

Snow's features turned from anger to hurt. “Who will hold you if you cry in the night?”

“I'll cry it out, dry my own tears, and move on.”

Snow was crestfallen, she truly wanted to help Emma and thought her presence had been beneficial to her daughter. 

“This is your fault,” Snow aimed at Killian. 

Emma's eyes flashed, “do not blame Killian for this.” She didn't notice, but she took a protective step in front of him, surprising both Killian and Archie. “He's the only one who has provided me with one moment of happiness in this hell. I don't want to see you or Dad or Archie right now. But don't worry, prisoner Emma is going back to jail, I mean hospital – jail, hospital, same difference. Good night,” she glanced up, the first salmon colored wisps of clouds were appearing in the periwinkle sky, “I mean good morning.” She turned her head to Killian, “thank you for taking me sailing.” She didn't wait for an answer and started to stalk off, the coat accentuating her every step with the sound of leather hitting leather.

She walked past the trio and Archie called out, “Emma.” 

She was annoyed but paused long enough to bite out a, “what?”

“I think it would be best if someone accompany you.”

“Why? Think I won't find my way back by myself?

“No Emma, I just think you might want some company. Would it be all right with you if Killian accompanied you?” 

She shrugged and said, “it's all right with me if it's all right with him.”

Archie raised his eyebrows at Killian, willing him to get out of this situation. 

“I would be honored,” Killian answered. He moved quickly over to Emma, avoiding the glares of Snow and David and relieved to be away from their wrath. He held his arm out to Emma, and to the surprise of both of them, she took it. They made their way back to the hospital. 

Back at the dock, Snow was seething. “How could you suggest that? He's the reason she's in this mess.”

“Snow, remember, Emma's breakdown was caused by her unresolved feelings for Killian; the road to recovery is confronting those feelings, and that requires Killian's presence. He's the only one who can heal her. That's incorrect; she's the only one who can heal herself, however Killian is the catalyst. And it's working, I see improvement in her already. You must have noticed it, also.” 

Snow didn't want to admit that Archie was correct, so she tried a different tactic, “but she may end up hurting even more.”

“I don't consider that likely.” 

“You don't consider that likely? What kind of platitude is that? This is my daughter!” 

“Snow?” David nudged, “Snow, it's time to go home.”

She turned to him, “are you betraying me now, too?”

Archie made a mental note to schedule time after Emma's recovery to work on the Charming family's abandonment issues. 

“What?” her husband said.

“You want to run out on Emma.”

“I want what's best for Emma. This afternoon you were all for Emma going sailing.”

“A nice family sail in the daytime, yes, not disappearing in the middle of the night for an illicit moonlit cruise.”

“Snow, there's nothing illicit here, and I agree with Archie.”

Snow threw up her hands and turned on her heel to head home, furious with all the men in her recent experience. David caught up to her and took her home. 

On the way back to the hospital Emma went on a tirade. “Can you believe them? Oh Emma, we were sooooo worried. Oh Emma, we just want what's best for you. Blah, blah, blah. They have no idea what's best for me. None! I survived just fine before they showed up in my life. Just. Fine.”

Killian wisely kept his mouth shut through this; especially about the fact that she might not have been fine. Tough, strong; yes, but still hurting.

“Do you know what it was like? I spent my life wondering about my parents. Why did they abandon me? What was their story – story, ha! What a word to use. Did they hate each other? Why did they hate me? Was I the product of some illicit love affair and had to be given up? Was my mother betrayed by my father and she saw no way to keep me? I thought I had covered everything; but do you know how many times I thought Snow White and Prince Charming were my parents?” She let go of his arm so she could make an expansive gesture with her arms, “zero!” She dropped her arms, “because who would think that? No one! Oh, and the kicker, of course; not only are they Snow White and Prince Charming, they shared True Love's Kiss. True love. What a crock.” She took a deep breath.

Killian continued to keep his silence, even though it hurt to see Emma so cynical about love.

She took another deep breath, “And to top it all off, that makes me some sort of fairy tale princess. What a bunch of...” she trailed off, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have subjected you to that.”

“Emma, you are always free to say anything you need to say to me.”

“Thank you. The sun's coming up.” 

“Aye,” was his only answer to that abrupt change of subject.

Emma couldn't help but feel sad. She was surrounded by enchantment for most of the night and the second she saw her parents and Archie, the enchantment was broken. The sun was here to force her to look at the bleak dreariness of her life. The hospital loomed in front of her like a portal waiting to suck her in and close around her, suffocating her. “Damn portals,” she thought as she took Killian's arm again and he adjusted accordingly, glad she took action without him having to offer. She wondered if she had indeed broken the curse, maybe all this time she had been living under a curse and didn't know it; or if she had truly broken it, she was punished for breaking the curse by becoming more cursed. 

The sandy brown exterior walls of the hospital gave way to the green and gray corridors as Killian brought Emma back to her room. She reluctantly took off the coat and handed it back to him. 

“Keep it, Swan.” 

“I can't,” she said, heartbroken, “they'll take it away from me, too many ways to hurt myself. They won't even allow me a pencil. I don't even know how I would hurt myself with a pencil, but there you go.” 

Now it was Killian's turn to be heartbroken for her; he, just as reluctantly, took the coat back. 

“Thank you,” Emma said, her eyes reflecting the ache within. 

“You're welcome.” He wanted to hold her, he wanted to kiss her hair and tell her it was all going to be better, but of course he dared none of these things. He only said, “have a good day, Swan,” hoping his compassion for her came through; and then he was gone.

Emma was left alone in her room. Somehow today it was even uglier than usual. There was no window, the bed barely qualified as such, there were cameras in the ceiling watching her every move, there were stains on the floor whose origins she thought it best not to contemplate. She couldn't imagine how she was ever going to recover in such dire surroundings. She burst into tears, hoping Killian was far enough away from her room that he couldn't hear. 

Emma spent most of the day in the solarium, it was the only room in the hospital with a view of the harbor, and even if she couldn't see all of the Jolly Roger, she could at least see the masts. Archie stopped by during the day, trying to draw her out, but she was not communicative other than to reiterate that she did not want her mother staying with her anymore, to which Archie agreed. He then went to his office and called Killian to let him know that he had not let Snow and David in on their scheme and to set up another excursion for tonight as he was pleased with Emma's progress. 

Emma was tired from all the stress and went to bed early. She didn't know how long she slept before she was once again woken with a proffered hand and the words, “come sailing, Swan.” This time she was not groggy and instantly placed her hand in his. They once again ran down to the dock hand in hand and once on board Killian made sure she didn't have a chance to get cold at all tonight by once again giving her his old coat. She put it on with glee and they set sail for several hours. The only difference this time was that Killian had stocked up on chocolate which delighted Emma immensely.

The next night when Killian arrived he entered her room and stopped. Emma was sitting on the bed, clutching a pillow and sobbing into it. His heart shattered for her pain. He immediately crossed over to her and pulled her into his arms as tightly as he could. She barely registered this action, but she knew someone was there, someone strong to cling to. One hand let go of the pillow and clutched Killian's jacket. Emma continued to sob into the pillow. She had no control over when she experienced what she called “Tear Attacks” they just snuck up on her with a burst of tears. Killian continued to hold her and stroke her hair. He started to wonder if he should perhaps call Archie as her crying wasn't diminishing, but didn't want to let her go. 

Finally she took a few deep breaths and her tears slowed. She became aware that she was not alone. She sniffed and looked up. 

“Hey Swan,” Killian whispered, “guess there's no sailing tonight.” He started to dry her tears as she shook her head. 

“Lousy wind tonight, anyway,” he said.

She mustered half a smile.

He continued to wipe away her tears and she unclenched her hand from his jacket. “Sorry about creasing your jacket.”

“It's all right, Swan, I have plenty more.” 

“I'm sure you do. Sorry, you shouldn't have to see this.” Emma looked around for the small box of tissues the nurse gave her. She found it underneath her blanket. She was a mess. There was a time in her life when she would've cared that Killian saw her in such poor condition but that time was so far in the past she could barely remember it. She did wish she could have some dignity in cleaning herself up, but a solitary trip to the bathroom was not allowed. So she pulled out a tissue and gently moved Killian's hand away from her face. She saw concern in his eyes, and as nice as that was, she didn't want his pity. 

She extricated herself from him and walked to the sink. She wiped her face, exhausted, then splashed some water on her face. She swallowed and said, in a still tear-choked voice, “you don't have to stay.” She didn't want him to go, but didn't want to trespass on his generosity either.

He felt a bit of a twinge when she said he could leave, afraid she didn't want him there at all. “I'm not going to leave you like this. I'm going to help you fight,” he said as he brought her the box of tissues. 

She looked at him, grateful for his presence and once again berating herself for running from him so long ago. “Thank you,” she whispered as she took the box and turned back to the sink. 

“Do you want some water?”

“Yes please.” 

Killian excused himself to the nurses' station to allow Emma her privacy.

Emma continued to clean herself up, taking more deep breaths and splashing more water on her face. The water both helped and hindered; it refreshed, but it also reminded her of sailing. The loss of tonight's excursion only added to her pain. Finally, she washed her hands as a gesture of completion. 

Killian returned with the cup of water, placed it on the sink and pulled a surprise out of his coat pocket, a Milky Way. Emma's eyes lit up in a way he'd never seen. “Contraband,” she said, “better watch it, you could be a bad influence on me.” 

“I'm counting on it,” he said conspiratorially, as he gave her the chocolate bar. She actually laughed as she tore open the wrapper and that made his night. “Emma, are you ok? Should I call Archie?”

“No, I'm fine.” She could feel his steady gaze on her, like she was a hothouse flower he dare not touch lest his attention cause her demise. “Well, not fine, but the worst has past.”

She looked at him, still occupied with devouring the chocolate, but figured that anyone who brought her chocolate deserved a better explanation. Sadness overtook her again, she managed a wan smile, “there's nothing to tell. Sometimes I cry, it comes over me like...a wave,” she figured that was a good word choice as he could relate, “sometimes I can ride the wave and sometimes it throws me against the shoals. I have no control” He nodded in understanding.

“So what shall we put on the agenda for tonight?” he asked. 

Emma was surprised that he was staying around, she really thought he'd leave. “We could go up to the solarium and play Yahtzee,” she said half joking.

“I don't know the game, but I'd be happy to learn.” 

“I'm sorry, some other time, perhaps, I've realized I'm more tired than I thought.” 

“As you wish.” 

She finished the snacks and walked back to her bed on shaky legs. She picked up the wet pillow and tried to fluff it up so she could sleep on it. Killian grabbed the pillow from what had been Snow's bed and placed it on Emma's bed so she could sleep on a dry pillow. She smiled a thank you and tucked herself in, pulling up the thin blanket and still clutching the wet pillow. 

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” a scared voice asked, “sometimes it's too quiet here. Sometimes there's music from the security office, and the nurses check in almost constantly; but I am left alone in the darkness with my thoughts, and that's the worst place for me to be because I can't make them stop. They just keep popping into my brain and no matter how hard I try to make them go away, they won't. It's torment.”

“Of course I can stay.” he answered quietly; trying not to let the ache in his heart for her seep into his voice. 

“Will you tell me a story about an adventure at sea?”

“Absolutely.” 

“Just so long as it's not about Neverland, I never want to think about Neverland again. Ha, I just said never about Neverland,” she scoffed at the word alliteration.

“I don't want to think about that place either.” He only had one good memory of his entire existence there and now was definitely not the time to think about that.

Trying to bring her more comfort, he sat down on her left, his back up against the wall. Needing to create more space for the two of them he said, “Emma, move your pillow up here,” patting his hip. She moved accordingly and he had enough space to stretch out his legs on top of the blanket. She placed her head on the pillow and rested. “Doesn't look too comfortable for you, Killian,” she said.

“I've spent nights in far worse conditions.” 

She laughed and said, “I'm sure you have.”

He pulled his phone out of his coat pocket to find something relaxing for Emma to listen to. He found what he was looking for and hit play. Emma listened to the soothing sound and asked, “what's that?” 

“Live stream from a whale sanctuary in Hawaii. You can listen to the surf hitting the sand all night long. Timed properly, it is possible to be graced with a Hawaiian sunset. That time has passed already, but the surf is still enjoyable even in the dark.” He placed the phone on the bed and let his arm curve around Emma. She snuggled in. “That's a nice sound, I'd like to go to Hawaii someday, it's pretty. What's the most beautiful place you've ever been, Killian?” 

“Honestly? Storybrooke.” 

“Here? There's nothing remarkable about here.” 

“It's not the scenery, it's the people. Plus it has the advantages of refrigeration, sports, and indoor plumbing.” 

Emma laughed a little at that; but not really expecting such an answer and not knowing how to respond to it, she closed her eyes and asked about what life was like as a captain. He started to tell her and the music created by the surf and his voice lulled her to sleep almost instantly. Killian removed his hook, tossed it on Snow's former bed, and followed suit not long after.

They stayed that way until the next morning when they were woken by a crash. Killian was wide awake instantly. Emma cracked open her eyes, decided it was probably an aide who dropped a tray, realized she was quite content where she was, and closed her eyes again. 

“Emma,” Killian said, “you should wake up.”

“Mmmm, no; don't wanna. Comfy here.” 

“It's morning, it's time to face the day.” 

“Don't like mornings...or days.” 

“Emma!” This wasn't Killian. Emma was instantly awake and moved away from Killian, “mom?” 

“Yes, mom.” 

Killian picked up his phone and shut off the surf. “I should go,” he said. 

“Yes, you should,” Snow answered. 

Emma threw the blanket off her and walked over to her mother, “you don't get a vote in who gets to remain in my room.” 

Snow crossed her arms.

Killian took a moment to be gallant, he picked up the notebook Snow had been carrying, which was the item that had dropped and woken them. 

“Thank you,” Snow was gracious enough to say, as she took it from him, although she said it with daggers in her eyes. 

Killian was torn, he didn't want to leave because it felt like he was running out on Emma and leaving her to fight alone with her mother. Conversely, staying didn't seem like a good option either as Snow looked like she was considering several forms of torture to be used on him. 

“Mom, I don't know what you're doing here.”

“I wanted to talk to you. I haven't seen you in two days, I was concerned and hoped you'd reconsider the fact that you kicked me out of your life.” 

“I didn't kick you out of my life, I just didn't want you hovering anymore.”

“You don't mind someone else hovering.”

“Killian is not hovering.”

“Yes, you're right, that was too close to be hovering. Have you no concern for what nefarious actions he might have committed while you were asleep?”

Killian's face registered shock; Emma's registered fury. She pointed to the door and told her mother, “Get out. Now.”

There was silence as Snow weighed her options. Emma kept pointing at the door, her eyes steeled against her mother. Snow turned to leave and Emma said, “I don't want to see you here again.” Snow's step faltered, but she kept going. 

Emma stared after her mother, her fury unabated. 

Killian spoke, “Emma, I would never...” 

She turned to him, the anger in her eyes disappearing, “I know. I'm sorry, I should have made her apologize to you before she left.”

“It's all right, Emma, she's concerned about you.”

“It's not all right...what she said,” Emma shook her head.

“I should go.” He picked up the hook and reattached it. He had to get out of there to deal with the pain of the realization that Snow had such a low opinion of him, that after all these years she still didn't trust him. To think that she thought him capable of harming any woman, let alone Emma, was a wound that ran deep. He tried to push away the thought that no matter what he did, Snow and David were never going to consider him to be good enough for their daughter. This was a pain he could not deal with in front of Emma.

Emma was angry with her mother not only for what she said, but also because she thought that if Snow hadn't shown up this morning, Killian might have stayed with her during the day. They might have played Yahtzee, or cards or anything; it didn't matter really, she was just hoping for companionship. Emma felt as though something had been taken from her. Any thought of him staying was gone, she could see he was upset and needed to be alone, this made her even angrier at her mother. She had to let him go. “Thank you for helping me through the night,” she said, barely above a whisper.

“You're welcome.” 

She watched him leave and her heart broke all over again. 

Archie got an earful during Emma's therapy session that day. She gave him a recap of the night (minus the chocolate) and recounted her mother's behavior of that morning. She was still angry with her mother and pacing around the room, trying to find an outlet for her aggression. Archie told Emma that at some point she and her mother were going to have to sit down together with him and work on their relationship, although he acknowledged that might not happen immediately. Emma was in no mood to contemplate any situation where forgiving her mother would be part of the agenda. She was relieved when her time was up and spent the rest of the day in the art room, coloring flowers, or more accurately scribbling over them until they were obliterated because she was too annoyed for such happy things as flowers. 

As the sun set over the bay, Killian sat in a chair on the aft deck, his feet up on the rail. It had been a long day. Every horrible memory of his life found its way into his consciousness and he'd wrestled with his feelings of inadequacy. Part of him wondered if maybe it would have been better for both of them if Emma had stayed in New York; she'd be out of sight and out of mind, and he wouldn't be tortured by 'what ifs' and maybe she wouldn't have had the breakdown she had. 

He'd taken off the hook and was watching the sun glint off the metal. Most days he accepted his hook as part of him; just another facet of his being. Then there were days like today when the hook taunted him with his failures. Looking at it he saw his last moments with Milah. He'd tried to protect her from the crocodile; and the horror of her fate replayed itself over and over in his mind. Each time he tried to find a way to save her, but never could. He cursed the fates for their added twist of now seeing the crocodile being loved again. 

Then there were his failures with Emma. He'd tried everything to break through the walls she constructed; to let her know she was no longer a lost girl. He thought about every moment he had with her, again trying to find a different way to do something that might have caused a different outcome. Was there something he should have said? Something he should have done? He could never figure it out; all he knew was that he'd failed Emma by not being what she needed. On his worst days, and this was one of them, he wondered if Emma had rejected him because of the hook.

“Killian?” a voice from the dock called. It was David. Killian wasn't in any mood to talk, especially since he figured he was about to be berated by Emma's other parent; but he couldn't ignore him. He reattached the hook, lowered his feet and walked over to the side of the ship. He may have to listen to David, but he wasn't giving up the high ground and he wasn't going to invite him aboard his ship. 

Figuring this was the most civility he deserved, David took a deep breath and said, “I know you probably don't want to see me. I wanted to apologize for Snow. I know you well enough to know you wouldn't hurt any woman like that.” Killian blinked and dipped his head. David continued, “Snow doesn't know what to do to help Emma anymore and that came out as an attack on you. But you do know how to help Emma. Just in the past few days she's been so much better, ever since you started to take her sailing, she's been happier. I think Snow is jealous that you can help her and she can't.” Snow being jealous was something Killian hadn't considered, the anger and hurt started to dissipate. 

“We just want Emma back,” David said in a pained voice.

“As do I.”

“You won't let what Snow said keep you away from Emma, will you?”

Killian looked insulted at the very thought, “of course not.” 

“Good. Thanks. Thanks for listening and for taking care of Emma.”

“You're welcome.” 

David left and Killian went below deck to get some sleep before tonight's sailing. 

That night Emma waited anxiously, worried that Killian might not show up to spirit her away for an adventure. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't, but she would miss him and the clandestine atmosphere of escaping her hospital room. It was the one bright light in her life and she'd grown fond of the shared rebellion very quickly. She heard a footstep, and was in delicious torment wondering if it was a nurse or Killian. She stood in the corner near the sink, her heart beating faster with just the possibility that it might be Killian. She didn't have to wait long as he sauntered into her room. Expecting to find her asleep, but not seeing her in bed, he was momentarily worried. 

A quiet, “hey,” came from the corner. 

Killian turned his attention there, he grinned, “Swan.” Tonight he brought the coat with him, he held it out to her and she practically jumped into it. She pulled her hair out of the collar, and donned the shoes. They clasped hands and ran out. Tonight she felt even more like she was escaping from a prison. 

They sailed for a while; the ship worked its magic as they both felt themselves being liberated from the stresses of the day. They didn't discuss anything, they each took comfort just knowing the other was there. Eventually they dropped anchor far out in the bay. Emma settled in one of the chairs on the aft deck, port side, and looked out over the water. Listening to the water lap against the ship, she felt a calmness she had never felt in her life. 

Killian leaned against the rail of the starboard aft deck. He was openly gazing at Emma, there was a serenity about her tonight, and he was trying not to think of how right and how at home she looked on the ship. 

Emma finally broke the silence, “the moonlight looks so beautiful dancing on the water, doesn't it?”   
He managed to focus long enough to answer, “aye,” although he thought the view more beautiful from his vantage point because it included not only the moonlight and the water, but her as well.

“Don't you wish you could go dancing in the moonlight on the water? You could feel the moonlight falling on you with your feet gliding over the water. It would be like dancing on a moonbeam.”

“It would be lovely, Emma, I am sure. If only I could grant that wish.”

“It's just a silly notion.”

“The moonlight falls on the deck as well.” He walked over to her.

Emma turned away from the water to see that indeed the moonlight fell on the ship. Killian held out his hand, “care to dance?”

Emma stared at his hand for a couple of seconds, then looked down at the deck. She wanted to dance with him, desperately; but she was afraid she would embarrass herself. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep everything she felt for him behind the walls she had long ago banished it to. The memory of the last time they danced was foremost in her mind. It was that last time her life felt right, the last time she was truly happy. Once again she was haunted by the echoes of running away.

“Emma,” Killian prompted softly. She looked up, his eyes were reflecting not only the moonlight, but the compassion within. 

She ached to dance with him. “I haven't danced since...before I was born.”

He smiled at the memory, “then it's about time you danced in your own lifetime.”

She couldn't argue the point, didn't want to argue the point; she only wanted to be in his arms. She took his hand and they walked to the center of the deck. Although Killian had his phone, he decided against finding any music as he felt the moonlight provided its own music. Being ever formal, he bowed to her; taking the cue, she curtsied back. He put his arm around her and waltzed with her around the deck.

Emma was lost; and for once it was the good kind of lost. This felt even better than she remembered. Her life felt right again. She felt him looking at her, but she could not meet his eyes. She looked at the water, the deck, the sky; but not him. 

He sensed her discomfort and looked away. She was glad it was night so he couldn't see her blush. She closed her eyes, willing this moment to impress itself into her mind so that she would have something to cling to during future lonely nights. She felt her heart demand something it couldn't have. What she feared overcame her, she could no longer suppress her feelings for him. She'd done it for too long and tonight they refused to be ignored. She struggled to shove the feelings back into the corner of herself where she usually hid them, but they wouldn't go. There was no longer anywhere for her to hide. She was caught in the dilemma of facing her love for a man that she had convinced herself felt nothing but pity for her.

Silent tears started to roll down her face. Surprised by this, she pulled away. She retreated back to the rail. Killian followed her, fearful that she was having an experience like the night before when she couldn't stop crying. As part of his self-imposed title of tissue holder, he had taken to carrying around a small package of tissues for such moments as this, he pulled it out of his pocket and gave it to her. 

She gave a tight smile and said, “thank you.”

He sat next to her as she dried her tears. “Emma, I'm sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Unable to face him again, she looked out at the water. 

They were silent for a few moments, he was about to ask her if she wanted to head to shore when she asked, “why are you so nice to me?” He was too kind, too compassionate to her for the way she had treated him in the past.

He was surprised by the question, “Why wouldn't I be?” 

“Because I am the last person you have any reason to care about, yet you take me sailing, bring me chocolate, dry my tears. I don't deserve the attention.”

Now he was confused, the short answer of course was that he loved her, but he certainly couldn't say that, so he said, “I'm going to have to disagree with that. I think you're being hard on yourself. Why shouldn't you deserve the attention?”

“Because I am a stone cold, hard-hearted person.”

“Emma, you are definitely being too hard on yourself.”

“Am I? I ran away, just up and left without concern for anyone but myself.”

“You let the lost girl control you. I can understand that. I had hoped that you would see me as an ally, not an adversary, but I couldn't find the path, I failed you.” 

“Hardly. I don't know that there is a path to find. After all, I see my own parents as adversaries.”

He couldn't argue that point, especially with the relationships so strained at the moment.

“Emma, you took those walls of yours, built yourself into your own tower, then covered it with briars and barbed wire for extra security.”

“That's a fair assessment. Locked myself up figuratively, now I am locked up literally. They might as well put briars and barbed wire around the hospital.” She was silent for a moment, trying to grasp a thread of one of the thoughts swirling in her mind, “I don't know how to deconstruct the tower.” 

“Emma, don't you see, I was always in the tower with you, wanting to help. Together we can deconstruct the tower. I vow to do anything I can to aid in your recovery.”

Emma was touched, she knew he meant what he said. Somewhere deep in her heart she felt a glimmer of light break through. Maybe it was some of the barbed wire starting to fall. She let herself feel love instead of locking it away. Soon the feeling suffused her being, she felt a lightness she had never felt and she was surprised to realize that she was at peace. 

Killian noticed a her face begin to soften, but said nothing.

Emma's peace was short lived. What could she do? She loved him. She could no longer deny her heart. Emma listened as her heart felt joy for the first time in years. Part of her wanted to revel in this feeling, to experience bliss, but the side that had been controlling her for so long took over and reminded her of her reality, that Killian was lost to her. 

“Emma,” Killian tried to break through her silence as he noticed pain starting to return to her features. “Are you all right? Do we need to go back to the hospital?”

“No please, please don't make me go back there.” she said desperately. She wanted to stay right here on the ship with him forever. She closed her eyes at the realization that this was, of course, impossible. 

She summoned any courage she had to look at him and say, “I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything. I could apologize every day for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough.”

Killian was at a loss. He had no idea what was bothering her; and was growing more concerned each moment. “Emma, please tell me what's wrong.”

She wanted to tell him that nothing was wrong.

“Something's changed, I can see it in your eyes.”

She touched her cheek, “yes, they would look different,” she thought, “love would do that.” She didn't try to hide the change, for there was no shame in loving a good man, even if that love was unrequited.

She clasped her hands, trying to find strength, “Killian, I want to thank you for taking such good care of me the last few days. I don't know what's going to happen to me after I get out of the hospital. Sometimes I think I'll never get out of there. It's not much of a future to look forward to.”

“Emma, you will recover. I know you too well too doubt that. You're resilient.”

She gave him a look of doubt, “I don't feel resilient.”

“Emma, throughout your life you have had to fight one tough break after another, if you need to take some time to reclaim your life, take it. I've always thought that you caught the brunt of the curse. You had the worst experience and the most responsibility. Everyone else was in stasis; but you were fighting battles. When you broke the curse, they awoke from a dream, but the nightmare you'd been living had new facets. Your life has been turned upside down so many times I've lost count. You had so much taken away from you. You didn't deserve that. You're so strong.”

“I haven't felt strong, all I ever do is cry.” 

He picked up her hand, “tears don't make you weak. See the tears as the briars and barbed wire falling. Then he mortar starts to corrode and before you know it, the tower is gone.”

She thought about this for a moment, then nodded. Curiosity compelled her to ask, “what did you mean when you said my nightmare had new facets?”

“One: you found out fairy tales were real. That had to be an adjustment coming from a land with no magic. Two: your relationship with your parents. They've never come to terms with the fact that they couldn't pick up where they left off with you. They don't understand the lost girl. Three: everyone expected you to fix everything. That's quite a burden. Four: this one is before the curse break, but it holds over. The hole in your heart from having to give up Henry when you didn't want to. Getting him back did help with that nightmare, but you worry that you will lose him again.”

“How did you know about Henry?”

“I know you. I know your heart broke because of how you were treated. Home was finally in your grasp; then it was torn away from you piece by piece. Giving up Henry was the exclamation point on that heartbreak. There's scar tissue there from being denied a home. You wanted to love and you have so much love to give. You learned to bury it though.”

“You have no idea how well I learned to bury it. What else could I do? Shuffled from place to place, not integral to anyone's life. Unwanted. Betrayed, left. Disposable then; disposable now.”

“That's not how I see you.” He was still holding her hand. 

She felt her heart skip a beat as she saw the truth of his words in his eyes. She had to let go of his hand because if she didn't she was afraid she'd embarrass herself by kissing him. She turned to face the water, “I never thought it possible that I could be important enough to anyone to have the power to hurt them. I used that thought so many times over the years to justify my actions. If any truth tried to seep into my conscience, I pushed it away. I couldn't face it.” She summoned up her courage to face him and say, “You didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. I try not to live in regret, but sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I made a different choice. Know of any good time portals anywhere?” she tried to joke. 

His mouth quirked up for a moment at the joke. “I'm afraid we are all out of time portals. All we can do is move forward; but that's a good thing, because we can make the future what we want.” He was surprised by her honesty, this was turning into a very interesting night for him.

She nodded, not quite believing him, but not wanting to express any pessimism either. “The first thing I'd like to do is leave the hospital. I hate it there.”

“So leave.”

“I can't, they won't release me. They say the hospital is the safest place for me. Where would I go anyway? I don't want to be anywhere near my parents.”

“We'll come up with another plan. You could get an apartment for you and Henry.”

“Sounds lovely, but they aren't likely to let me live alone when Henry's at school.”

“Plenty of room in my house, you could move in with me. Added bonus, it would annoy your parents,” he tried to pass this all off as a joke. 

Emma took it as such, grinned, and parried back, “it would be worth it just for that alone.” 

They both laughed at this; but they were skating too close to thin ice. They both felt the pain they'd tried to cover with laughter; each one thinking the other didn't care, not realizing that the tragedy of their relationship was that they had never been able to say, “I love you,” to each other. He because he knew it would scare her too much; and she because she was overwhelmed. That was in the past; now Killian wouldn't say the words because of Emma's precarious mental health, it was a burden he wouldn't place on her; and Emma wouldn't say it because she feared he would laugh or say it was too late.

Emma started to feel the sadness creeping up on her again. She looked out over the bay again as a means of escape, “When I am out here, it's like a dream; then I have to go back to that nightmare. Being out here does keep the Dementors away.”

“You've read Harry Potter?” he asked.

“With Henry. You've ready Harry Potter?” 

“Henry and I spent a summer reading; then watching the movies.”

Emma squashed the painful thought that it would have been nice for the three of them to read and watch together. 

“Always liked that rogue Sirius Black,” Killian said. 

“Somehow that doesn't surprise me,” she teased, then turned serious, “he didn't deserve what happened to him either. He sacrificed...” and she burst into tears. 

“Emma,” Killian pulled her close in a heartbeat. Holding her tightly he stroked her back, trying to ward away the pain. Emma was talking through her tears, not very coherently, but talking nonetheless, “you sacrificed...ship...how...so mean...I...too great...ship gone...didn't even notice...your ship...”

“Emma, what are you talking about?” 

She pulled away and looked at him, “you sacrificed your ship for a magic bean to get to New York. I wasn't worth it.”

So here it was, finally. He had to be precise with his language, “Emma, I made the choice, and if I had to do it again, I'd make the same choice because you are worth it. That was a long time ago, why is it bothering you now? And, just in case you haven't noticed, I got my ship back.” 

That actually made her laugh. She swallowed and said, “I only found out about it recently. The day I had my breakdown; actually, it was the cause of the breakdown.” 

“I know, but why did it cause your breakdown?”

“Why? You gave up the Jolly Roger for me and I threw your sacrifice back in your face. I thought you left the ship in another realm and that the bird who brought you the note and the memory potion also brought you something to get you to New York. I never even bothered to ask you about it.”

He was still holding her, “Emma, sometimes life demands a trade off. I don't regret what I did. We needed you, and you came through for us. It wasn't a completely altruistic act. I spent a year without you, trading the ship meant I could see you.”

“So you don't hate me?”

“Hate you? Of course not.” 

“That's good to hear anyway.” Realizing that she had been in his arms for far longer than she should have been, she pulled away, wandered to the stern and stared out over the water. Clouds had covered the moon so the light no longer dappled over the water. 

“That day, there was more to it; everything spun out of control once I realized what you did. That act associated one thought with another; other memories with each other, too. Everything cascaded instantaneously and I was overwhelmed. My conscience forced me to look at the lie I had been living. It was a bigger lie than the false memories Regina gave me. Denial could no longer be my refuge and when I couldn't deny anymore, I fell apart. I was a lost girl again, wandering, trying to reconcile the decisions I had made, but they wouldn't align with the truth. The truth didn't set me free, it sent me down a spiral. My thoughts kept throwing memories at me; daring me to confront them, and I couldn't. Fears that I had been repressing for years escaped and consumed me. I was shaken to my core. Archie says I have to resolve my past; but there's no resolution.” 

She started pacing, circling around the deck, “I don't know where to begin to make amends. When you brought Henry and me back to Storybrooke it was fine for a while, but then I couldn't deal with my life being turned upside down...again. I was overwhelmed, so I ran. I loved you and I ran away. Too scared. I hurt so many people.” Killian was shocked to hear her say those words and flinched at her use of the past tense. He was glad she was turned away and missed the reaction. She was wringing her hands, “some wounds don't heal. Some things can't be forgiven. Some friendships never recover. There are breaks that can't be repaired; relationships that are permanently estranged...”

Killian walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder,“Emma, stop, please. Take a deep breath.”

She took a couple of deep breaths. She looked at him and saw only wasted potential. 

“And now you're sad again, why?” he said as he removed his hand from her shoulder.

“It's nothing to be concerned about. It's just a confrontation of loss.”

“That doesn't sound like nothing. What have you lost?”

“Everything.”

“That's definitely not nothing. Could you be more specific?”

Emma's thoughts were too nebulous to give him a more definitive answer.

He tried another strategy, “Emma, what's the most troubling inner conflict you have right now?”

She had to think about this for a moment or two,“I've never been able to sort anything out when it comes to you. I thought I was lost before I met you, but when you showed up I was even more lost. I never figured you out. I call it my 'Killian Confusion'.”

He shrugged, “what's there to figure?”

“How I really felt about you. I was always so scattered, but that was a long time ago.”

“So you finally figured it out?”

“Yes,” she had to admit.

“And what is the conclusion?”

“It's not something I'd planned on sharing.”

“If we're talking about me, don't I have a right to know?”

“It's not relevant anymore.”

He raised his eyebrows, letting her know that evasiveness wasn't going to work. 

“Fine,” she said, “You were a complication. I was already dealing with so much. I wasn't looking for you or anyone else. Sometimes I was angry; I couldn't figure out if I was just infatuated with you or if there was something more.”

“So you thought leaving town was the way to find the answer?” 

“You terrified me.”

Not the answer he was hoping for; in fact he was perplexed, “I did?”

“I was so scared of losing you. Neal, Graham, Walsh; dead, dead, dead. It was better to have you alive at a distance than to have to watch you die too. It would have been inevitable, I know it. I kept seeing you dying, and I couldn't handle it, even if it was only in my mind. That day I left, it was all I saw any time I looked at you; always a different method, but the same result.”

He finally had his answer to that anguished look from so long ago. “You made this decision without discussing it with me.” 

She shrugged sheepishly, “it seemed like a good idea at the time. I couldn't talk to you then, I could only run; run from you, from me, and from any possible us.”

“Did you ever turn the scenario around? I could have had to watch you die.”

“No, that never crossed my mind,” she admitted. It was now though and she admired the strength it must have taken for him to put his heart on the line again after so long. 

“Emma, I'm a survivor.”

“You can survive death?”

“You aren't a death sentence.”

“I feel like it sometimes.” 

“I'll take my chances.”

She managed a small smile through the pain. “It doesn't matter now, it's all in the past.” 

“You must have some current thoughts on the matter.”

Now she was terrified again. Her current thoughts were not to be confronted. She turned away from him and gripped the stern rail. “Can't a lady have her secrets?” she said.

Seeing how that question affected her, Killian decided to pursue, “of course, secrets can be part of a lady's allure, but not when they are detrimental to your health. You said that Archie told you you had to resolve your past. Does it feel resolved?”

“Yes,” she said too quickly. 

“Do you need me to point out that that was a lie?” 

She sighed. Then swallowed. Then gripped her hands together. She looked up at the sky hoping for anything; bolt of lightning, water spout, portal opening, anything that would take her away from this moment. 

“Emma, do you want to leave the hospital?” 

“Of course,” she answered, shaken from her hesitation. Faced with the choice of the hospital or potentially making a fool of herself, she chose to walk her own metaphorical plank. She took a deep breath and turned to face him. “Please don't laugh,” she said. 

“Is it funny?” 

“Only in an ironic sort of way. What I did doesn't deserve forgiveness,” she put her hand over her heart, took a deep breath and then so quickly that everything almost blurred together said, “I loved you then and I love you now, I never stopped loving you.” She immediately gasped and put her hands over her mouth, shocked that she had said the words she had avoided for so long.

She ran to the wheel, the steps, the rail; looking for an escape, but unless she jumped ship, she wasn't going to find one. 

Killian was shocked, but had to collect his wits because he had to catch her before she denied everything. “Emma, don't run.”

She looked at him, defeated, “there's no where to run to,” she shrugged. 

“Come sit down, please.” 

She didn't want to, she didn't want to be anywhere near him. For once she wished she was back in her hospital room, alone and free from embarrassment. “I'm starting to feel seasick.”

“Emma, you've never once been seasick,” he said as he walked over to her. He took her hand and led her to a seat. He turned her head toward the water, “there now, just in case you get 'seasick'.” She covered her face with her hands, a muffled, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. How could I say that?” was heard. 

Killian gently tugged her hands away from her face, she gripped the rail, but she still wouldn't look at him. “Emma, don't be sorry. I forgave you for leaving a long time ago. Why is this a conflict for you? Does loving me make you sick?”

“No, of course not. It's because I hurt you and you have no reason to love me anymore.”

“Since when has love conformed to reason?”

She ventured a short glance at him.

He touched her chin and gently turned her head back to him, then moved his hand to her cheek, “Emma, I integrated my feelings for you long ago. They are part of who I am; I have a ship and a hook and, I love you.”

“That's not possible,” she said, but his hand was so warm on her face and he was looking directly at her that her denial was faltering.

“What? Are you saying I don't know myself?”

“No, I'm just confused.” 

“About what?” 

“Everything,” she said, bewildered.

His thumb stroked her cheek, “could you be a little more specific?” He grinned.

She wanted to laugh at his calling her out, but the sensation sent her mind reeling and thought was gone, she could only answer with a whispered, “no.” She closed her eyes and turned back to the water. Killian drew his hand away and she missed his touch immensely. 

They were quiet for a few moments, then Killian asked, “are we going to sit here for the rest of the night and not talk?”

“What is there to say?”

“We've reached a point where we can build a relationship together and you don't seem to want to try.”

“I don't know where to begin,” she turned back to him, a resigned sadness in her eyes. “I'd convinced myself you were at best indifferent to me; at worst you hated me. It's going to take a moment or two to process this.”

Killian took her hand and gently tugged her out of the chair. He led her to the stern and held her. She cuddled in and put her arms around him, closing her eyes so she could bask in this unexpected revelation. They stood there together for quite some time; quiet and peaceful. Eventually he kissed her hair and said, “I love you. Does this help the process?”

“Yes.”

“Still want to run?” 

“No. Can we stay here forever?”

“Might get a little chilly when the snow starts flying.”

She laughed. 

He continued to hold her and the briars, the barbed wire, and the tower all started to disappear.

“I didn't know it was possible to love anyone as much as I love you,” Emma said. “I thought this was something that only happened for other people. You know, like my parents, but not me.”

He kissed her forehead, “Emma, there are many ways to find love. Your parents found a love that's strong, but remember, they had their trials too, I know you know that.” She smiled. Killian continued, “but you and me; we've had to fight for what we want. You're worth fighting for, and this us that we are creating, its worth fighting for; and I am going to continue to fight for you and us. I'm your champion, sworn to accompany you on your journey to be the best and happiest you that you can be.”

She smiled and touched his cheek, “I'm going to fight for you and us, too. I want to wipe away all the pain of the past and devote myself to bringing whatever joy I can into your life. I vow that I will never let you doubt for a moment how much I love you. It's such a relief to say that instead of pushing it away.”

Then Emma did something without thinking. She drew closer and kissed him. It was a short kiss, she pulled away, amazed that she had been bold enough to take such an action.

He smiled, “that's a nice start.” 

She smiled and blushed. Then being a little overcome she snuggled back into his arms and held him close. “It's almost gone.”

“What?” 

“The tower.”

“That's good news.”

“It is, I feel like me again. My life finally feels right. I've missed you.”

He tightened his hold, “I've missed you, too. And I know what you mean, I was so used to that other life that I didn't even recognize how wrong it was,” He was surprised to realize that there had been a small tower around his own heart and it was now crumbling. “I want to celebrate, but I don't have any champagne out here,” he said.

She shrugged, “I'm on too many meds anyway. There are other ways to celebrate, you know,” she hinted.

Killian knew, he touched her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. Emma did not pull away, she reveled in the joy. The kiss was tender and loving, with just a wisp of restrained passion. Killian finally ended the moment, unsure if this might be a step to far for Emma. 

She was silent, but didn't turn away from him. A little dazed and flushed, Emma touched her lips, and whispered, “wow,” which put a grin on Killian's face. They looked at each other, both a little astounded that they had finally reached this point.

They drew close again, this time exploring a more intense kiss. Emma wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. She gave herself the freedom to bask in this ecstasy.   
This time when they broke away, they were both breathless. They gazed at each other, silently asking if it was time to establish their relationship as the romantic partnership it truly was. They let go and backed away. 

“I didn't expect this,” Killian said. Archie's instructions had been to take Emma sailing and if she talked, and he thought it was a big if, listen. There was nothing in the game plan about this.

“I didn't either, but there's no reason not to,” Emma bravely ventured.

“You're too vulnerable.”

“Maybe I'm finally as vulnerable as I need to be, instead of locking myself away in that tower.”

Killian looked at her, torn between desire and conscience. Should he listen to the love in his heart which had been denied for so long; or should the rational mind rule? He knew Emma had been through an emotionally turbulent day, he had as well. Would it be taking advantage of this turmoil to touch her? To love her? Emma waited patiently as she watched him grapple with his thoughts. Her eyes never left his. 

“Emma, I should take you back to the hospital.” He turned away, unable to think clearly while looking at her. 

“Now who's running?” Emma lobbed at him. 

He turned back, “well-played, Swan.”

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, too.”

“Then we are we still above deck? I'm surprised by your hesitation.”

“As am I.”

“Is there really a more appropriate way to continue this evening? What, head to your place and watch tv? Go to the hospital and play tiddlywinks? Just saying those options sounds absurd.”

“Tiddlywinks?”

“Irrelevant. I meant it when I said I didn't want to go back. I want to get out of these hospital clothes and never put them on again. In fact, I want to burn them. Not tonight though, tonight should be devoted another activity.”

Emma then made the boldest move of the night. She wrapped her hand around his hook and placed it at the center of the v-neck of her top. “Rip it, I want these clothes shredded,” she said in a warm voice. This action alone mitigated Killian's anxieties from earlier in the day, although Emma couldn't have known it. The thought of releasing Emma from her prison garb was a metaphor Killian couldn't resist. He could free her from her past and her pain. The realization staggered him, but there was still a thought troubling him, “if his sets back your recovery I will not be able to forgive myself,” he said.

“I am completely recovered, this is...a bonus. We've waited too long already.” 

There was no arguing that point. Emma, his Swan, had returned, he could sense it in her bearing. Desire finally won, she could see it by the change in his eyes. Decision made, he ripped straight down the center of the top. The sound alone made Emma weak in the knees, but he quickly made her weaker by pulling her close and kissing her again. This time he didn't hold back on the passion, and when they needed to pause for air, they again ran hand in hand, but this time it was down to the cabin to spend the rest of the night enraptured with each other.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning they woke to the sun streaming through the windows and the sounds of boats in the harbor. 

“Good morning,” they said to each other and then shared their first good morning kiss. They smiled at each other when they finally ended the kiss. Emma said, “this is the second morning in a row that we've woken up together. Sure beats yesterday.”

“I agree, wholeheartedly.”

“I bet you slept much more comfortably last night, too.” 

He laughed and fondled her hair. “Indeed, Swan, but I am happy to spend the night with you under any conditions.” 

She smiled again, then turned serious, “I can't believe that was just yesterday, it already seems so long ago.” 

“We traversed a great emotional distance.”

“I certainly did, you didn't have quite so far to go, did you?”

“No, but I was concerned about your mental health and how it was affecting your decisions.”

“All the pain disappeared once I actually said, 'I love you'. I do, you know; love you.”

“I love you, too,” then they kissed again, long and leisurely. 

They ended the kiss and Emma sighed deeply, but her bliss was interrupted when Killian said, “as much as I hate this, we should head back to port. I'm sure you're missed at the hospital.”

“Good for the hospital, I don't miss it.”

“Emma...”

“What happened to Swan?” 

“Sorry, Swan...”

“That's better,” she said as she languidly drew her fingers up his arm, “but I'm still not going back. Everyone knows where we are anyway, and I am content to stay out here with you for...well, forever, really.”

“That's hardly practical.”

“I've always been far too practical.”

He couldn't argue that point, “fine, no more Princess Practical.” She raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn't back down, “for one final act of practicality, please call your parents just to reassure them. They have been worried about you.” 

She rolled her eyes, “really, I hadn't noticed.” He gave her a 'be serious' look and she said, “ok, but they shouldn't be, I've never felt better in my life, and that's not an exaggeration. I'll call them, if only to put a stop to whatever the frantic trio are plotting. They're probably on the dock right now staring at the ship wondering what to do.”

Emma was correct, the hospital had called Archie when morning broke and Emma still hadn't returned. Archie wasn't troubled, as he had seen the Jolly Roger anchored out in the bay as he walked to Granny's for breakfast. He was surprised that Emma and Killian were still out there, but that was due to his theory that it would take longer for Emma to confront herself. However, if Emma surpassed his expectations for her as a patient, he wasn't going to do or say anything that might cause a relapse. His plan for a serene breakfast had been cut short when he arrived at Granny's to see Snow upset over Emma being the only topic of conversation among those enjoying their pancakes and maple syrup. She'd insisted they go down to the dock and he'd protested, but not even David could win this argument with Snow, so he had no chance to either. So down to the dock they went, although he didn't know what Snow expected to accomplish by doing this. 

“Call them,” Snow insisted. 

“No,” both Archie and David answered. 

“She won't talk to me, it has to be one of you.” 

“Snow; Emma and Killian will come back to town when they want to come back,” Archie pointed out, “calling them is not going to accomplish anything, in fact I think it might provoke Emma's stubbornness to where she'll stay out there longer just to make a point.”

He was right, Snow knew he was right. She nodded, and the two gentlemen with her were relieved that she came to this decision before they had to point out to her that this might be a bad time to call. The three of them turned to walk back to Granny's, but some sort of maternal protectiveness overcame Snow. She impulsively pulled out her phone and hit Killian's number, Archie grabbed the phone from her, but it was too late. 

The phone rang.

“Hmm, I wonder who that might be,” Emma said. They looked for the phone and saw that Killian's jacket was still where it had been strewn last night, hanging off the corner of a chair, if she stretched enough she could reach it without having to get out of the bunk. “Which one do you think will talk?” she said as she fished the phone out of the jacket, “my money's on Archie.” Wanting to take the heat for this situation, Killian motioned for her to hand the phone to him, but she shook her head, snuggled in to him and hit the button. 

“Good morning,”she said in a voice more cheerful than any of them had ever heard. 

“Ah, Emma, I guess that answers the question of where you are,” Archie said, deciding to play dumb concerning her whereabouts. The phone was on speaker so Snow and David could also hear. 

“I guess it does. Here I am, and here I'm staying. And since this call came up as being from my mother's phone, I'm guessing that my parents are there with you. So, I'm telling all of you at once; I am not going back to the hospital; not ever, because I am happier than I have ever been in my life, literally.”

“Swan,” Killian quietly tried to get her attention, but she ignored him.

“I don't need the hospital anymore, Killian's really good at taking away the pain.”

At her low, throaty laugh he closed his eyes, trying to ward off the thought that Snow and David were going to kill him. 

“Furthermore, mother, don't go thinking that the pirate seduced your princess, that's not what happened. There were many acts committed here last night, none of which were nefarious and I am going to stay right here and commit more non-nefarious acts,” she punctuated this with another laugh.

Killian gulped and mouthed the words, “dead man.”

Emma continued, “And mother, maybe someday I can be civil enough to let you apologize to Killian, but not today...and not tomorrow.”

“Em...,” her mother started but Emma would let her talk. “Mother you always say you want to help. Here's how you can help, send food, I really have an appetite.” The inflection she put on appetite confirmed to Killian that if they ever did leave the ship he was indeed a dead man. Emma looked at Killian and giggled, actually giggled. David and Archie looked at each other in shock. Snow's jaw dropped. She tried to be happy at her daughter's obvious joy, but she was having difficulty processing this turn of events. 

Emma had some parting words, “don't bother to call back, I am turning off the phone. Bye.” She turned off the phone put it on the floor. “That was fun,” she laughed again, then turned all her attention back to Killian.

“Glad you are having such a good time, Swan, because we're staying out here, as it's the only safe place for me. If looks could kill, I am sure I would already be dead.” 

“You don't see me arguing with staying out here, now do you? And don't worry, they aren't going to kill you, and here's why: I'm happy. They kill you I won't be happy anymore. See how simple that is?”

“Perhaps from your point of view.”

“They might castrate you,” she teased. 

“Emma! Do not ever, EVER joke about such things.”

“Relax, they won't do that either because once again they'd have an unhappy Emma, and they don't want that, so you, and I mean every part of you, are safe.” 

Then they went back to being enraptured with each other.

Back on the dock David put his arm around Snow and led her back to Granny's. Archie went with them, hoping he could finally have breakfast, but knowing it was more likely that he was going to have to get Snow through this momentous change in her daughter's life. 

A little while later, a thud on the deck interrupted their morning reverie. Killian threw on his pants to investigate and Emma missed him, this was the longest they had been apart since they had worked everything out. Fortunately she didn't have to be lonely for long as he returned almost immediately with a picnic basket. 

“Food, delivered by bird,” he said. 

“I'm surprised she actually listened.”

“Emma, don't let this rift between you and your mother fester. She was scared.”

Knowing he was right, she nodded, “fine, I will mend the break with my mother,” she recited. She held up her hand, “scout's honor...whenever we leave here. Now can we eat? I really am hungry.” She wrapped a sheet around herself and walked over to him. 

“Yes,” he said as he put the basket on the table. He openly gazed at her, from head to toe and back up again. 

“What?” she asked, lapping up the attention. 

“Just admiring your choice of garment,” he answered. 

“Thank you,” she said, “it's from the Storybrooke Ship Ahoy collection.” 

He smirked and she leaned in to kiss the smirk off his face, which he was more than happy to let her do. When he finished smirking, he opened the basket. In addition to the food, they found two notes. The first was from Ruby, Emma opened it and read, “'so happy for both of you,' and look she drew lots of hearts. Nice to know someone is rooting for us.”

“Your parents are rooting for your happiness, Emma.”

“Ok, ok, who's the other note from?''

He handed it to her as was from Archie, she read it and smiled, “he's started my discharge paperwork, I'm being released from the hospital, and he'll be sending a bird out later with meds and instructions on lower dosages. I want to celebrate.”

“Any ideas how?” Killian asked.

“Uh huh,” she answered.

“Do tell,” he said. 

“Showing is better,” she pulled him close and kissed him. It was mutually decided that they weren't all that hungry and breakfast turned into brunch. 

When they were finally ready to eat, they decided to have brunch in bed. Killian produced a tray and they cozied up together, not at all caring that breakfast had turned cold. 

Killian reflected, “you know we're the hottest topic in town gossip at the moment.”

“You have a problem with people talking about you being out her with me?” she quipped.

He laughed, “of course not, I was concerned about you. They know we're not playing tiddlywinks.”

“Killian, Storybrooke is going to Storybrooke and this one time, if I were one of the people in town, I'd be talking about us too.”

“You know what I heard?” he teased.

“What?” she smiled in return.

“Emma is out on the Jolly Roger with Killian, all alone,” he whispered. 

She pretended to be shocked, “you don't say. How very scandalous. I always knew they were crazy about each other.”

“No one knows when they are going to come back to town.”

Emma broke up their little game, “Ha, I bet they are starting a pool on that.”

They laughed and finished eating.

They did stay out on the Jolly Roger for several days, and this choice had nothing to do with stubbornness. Food was sent out at regular intervals and Ruby always sent a note of happiness, even if it was just a heart with their initials and an arrow through it. Emma kept all the notes, smiling as she tucked each one of them into the pocket of her now favorite coat. Killian smiled and pretended not to notice, but Emma knew he knew and he knew she knew he knew. 

Another time Emma was on deck watching the sunset off the stern when she felt his gaze on her. She turned to see him leaning against the rail, he didn't take his eyes off her. “What?” she asked. 

“Sometimes I still can't believe you're actually here.”

“I'm here,” she held her hand out to him and he walked over to her, he gallantly kissed her hand. “I'm here and I'm staying for as long as you want me here.” 

“That would be always, love,” he'd answered and they kissed then held each other close as they watched the sunset. 

One morning in addition to food, there was a second bird with a package from Snow. Emma opened it and shook her head, “how quaint, my mother sent me clothes. She's adorable sometimes.” She tossed the clothes aside as she was very happy wearing just Killian's old coat, or a sheet. There was one time when she tried on a shirt Killian had on board, but she didn't wear it long as Killian found the look quite ravishing. 

As much as Emma found the clothes eye roll worthy, she did wear them on the night they sailed into port for a short visit to burn Emma's hospital clothes, and even then she wore her now favorite coat over them. They brought a couple of metal buckets and a shovel down to the beach. Killian filled one of the buckets with water and then stood close to Emma as she put the hospital socks and shredded remains of her scrubs into a the other bucket. Killian couldn't keep a proud smile off his face at his hook-work from their first night together, the clothes were in several pieces. 

“I can hear that smile,” Emma said. 

“Can't a man enjoy a fond memory?” 

She turned and beamed at him, “absolutely,” then she kissed him and said, “and there's another fond memory for you.” 

“I like this making fond memories tradition we've started.” 

She nodded in agreement, then turned her attention to the bucket, “and here's another,” she said as she lit a match and threw it in.

“Any final words?” he asked.

“Yes, good riddance,” she said as she snuggled back into Killian's arms. He held her tightly and they watched the flames turn Emma's past trauma into smoke. As they watched, Killian told her the whole story of how Archie was inspired to send her sailing. He told her that everyone in the hospital was in on the midnight sailing escape plan and how happy he was that he could finally do something to help her.

“So your pirating skills didn't spring me from the brig?” she joked.

“Sorry, love.” 

“That's ok, it was being with you that was the important part. I was surprised by the attention. You hadn't come to see me up to then, not that I would have expected you to.”

“Archie wouldn't let me see you, but I was at the hospital every day.”

This was a surprise. Emma turned her head to look up at him. “You were there? I didn't know.”

“You weren't supposed to, Archie kept saying we had to wait until the time was right. It was infuriating at times, being so unable to help.”

“I'm sure, but it was a wise decision on his part, I probably would have burst into tears had I seen you.” She kissed him again, “thank you for being there; and for being here.”

He smiled and kissed her back. 

When the clothes were nothing but ashes, they doused them, then dug a deep hole and buried them on the beach. They walked back to the ship feeling accomplished and serene.

As they set sail, Killian once again let Emma take the wheel, but this time he stood close behind her and put his hand on top of hers. She put her hand on top of his hook and they glided along the bay, blissfully.

“Together is the best way to steer this ship,” Emma said as she burrowed in closer to him. 

“Aye, love, it is.” 

Together they sailed in the moonlight, feeling freed from the past, and looking forward to a future filled with love.

A couple of days later, late at night, Snow received a text from Emma which read, “Killian and I are leaving town for a bit, see you Sat night, 6pm @ Granny's. Alert the media. I'll call Henry to make sure he is there too. Don't bother looking for us, we've already crossed the town line.”

Snow showed the text to David who said, “well, at least we don't have to send out any more food.”

Snow acknowledged the text, but didn't bother to ask anything else as she was sure Emma would not satisfy her curiosity regarding the secretive trip. She was correct. 

That Saturday night, at 5:55pm, Killian pulled up and parked the car in front of Granny's. They could see the place was packed, obviously word had gotten out that they would be returning tonight. “You ready for this?” he asked. 

“She did know I was kidding when I said, 'alert the media,' didn't she?”

“Hottest topic, remember? Love, I know you like that coat, but we aren't out on the bay now.” 

“I'm wearing the coat.”

“Of course,” he sighed. 

“You have a problem with that?” 

“Let's say...trepidation. You walk in there wearing that coat, and your parents...”

“Have seen me in this coat already.”

“Things have changed and that coat...”

“Makes me happy. I'm wearing my boyfriend's coat, it's telling everyone I'm all yours.”

“That's exactly what worries me.”

“That's what I like best about it. You still think you're a dead man, don't you?” 

“The thought has crossed my mind.”

She leaned over and said, “I love you. Killian, you have been steadfast through the years, you never lost faith in me. My parents know that, they know you. My self exile means that they've spent more time with you than me.” 

“And then spent time alone with their daughter under scandalous conditions.” 

“You're being overly circumspect in your definition of scandalous.” Then she placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. “Let's go give Storybrooke what they want,” she said when she let go. 

He smiled and got out of the car, then went around and opened the car door for Emma. They held hands tightly as they walked up the steps. Emma opened the door, they walked in and everyone in the restaurant burst into applause. Some part of Emma felt she should be mad at this, but she was too happy, so instead she egged them on by waving at them regally. Killian continued to hold her hand and bit his cheeks to keep from laughing too hard. When she'd had enough of the wild applause, and this happened very quickly, Emma dropped a sarcastic curtsy which shut everyone up.

Emma was still in a good mood though, and wanted to play, so she asked, “who won the pool?”

“What pool?” Ruby asked.

“You really think I am buying that? This is Storybrooke. Someone started a 'how long will they be out there?' pool. Who won?”

“Me,” Leroy answered, for once actually happy and unable to contain his glee, after all, he'd cleaned up money-wise.

“Congrats!” Emma said cheerfully, confusing everyone with the wide contrast between the Emma they had known for so long, and the Emma who stood before them now.

“Thank you,” Leroy answered, a little wary.

“Oh, it was my pleasure, I am sure,” at this Emma broke down into giggles and the citizens of Storybrooke were now astounded by this person they had never seen before. 

Killian closed his eyes, leaned in and whispered to Emma, “dead man.” 

She stopped giggling long enough to say, “no, you're not,” and then she quickly kissed him and gazed at her beloved. This action saw many people in the restaurant take out money to settle the, “will they kiss in front of us?” bet. 

Emma saw this out of the corner of her eye and decided she didn't want to know. She did see her mother and father in their accustomed booth and the joy that had suffused her being was tempered slightly. Henry, Regina, Neal, and Archie were also near the booth, some in chairs pulled up to it, but Regina placed herself in the booth adjoining the Charming booth. 

“You ready to face the music,” Emma asked Killian. 

“Yes,” he said, eager to get this over with. 

They headed back to the booth and sat down, still holding hands. Emma was across from her mother, “Good evening, everyone,” she said, then focused across the table, “I'm ready for you to apologize to Killian, mother.”

Wanting to mend fences quickly, Snow said, “Killian, I am very sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it, I was just so upset about Emma, will you accept my apology?” 

“Apology accepted,” Killian said and the incident was forever forgotten. Killian then squeezed Emma's hand under the table. She looked at him, he raised his eyebrows and tilted his head toward Snow. “Fine,” Emma said. She looked at her mother, “I'm sorry I've been so...harsh with you recently, I was...working through some stuff.”

“You have a gift for understatement,” Killian said. Emma acknowledged him with a small smile, but addressed her mother, “can you forgive me?” 

“Of course I forgive you, Emma, we're just glad to have you back.”

“It's good to be back,” Emma said contentedly. 

“So, you gonna tell us where you've been? I mean, the past few days, not emotionally,” Regina asked, having had enough of this treacle. She was perched on the seat of the booth, facing away from her own table, giving her a good view of the Charming table. 

Emma was back to full joy, she asked Killian, “should we tell them?” 

“Yes, please,” he answered. 

“We went shopping, for one thing, well, three things, really, but the other two don't come into play yet,” she said cryptically.

“Emma,” Killian nudged, “just show them, please.”

“All right,” she kissed him quickly and as she did she finally let go of his hand and then placed her hand above the table right in front of her mother. 

There was stunned silence in the diner. 

Snow's jaw dropped. 

Henry said, “cool.”

Ruby said, “wow.”

Regina said, “you two don't do anything by half measures, do you?”

“It's an engagement ring,” Emma said, unnecessarily, gazing at it. It was beautiful, of course. At the center of the ring was a round cut diamond; on what could be termed the right and left sides, small sapphires were set to conform with the curve, then more were set to come to a point, essentially forming triangles. To Emma the diamond was the moon and the sapphires were the sea.

“I can see that,” Snow replied, she held her daughter's hand. So many thoughts and emotions were running through her she didn't know where to begin. She was speechless. To her right, her husband smiled, enjoying this moment of finally seeing his daughter, and Killian, happy. 

“Mom?” Emma said, trying to evoke a reaction. 

“Don't you think you're rushing into this?” Snow blurted out.

Emma pulled her hand away, “did you hear what you just said?” 

“Emma, I'm sorry, I'm just surprised at this quick turn of events.”

“I thought you'd be overjoyed.”

“I am, I am. I think I'm still in shock, that's all.”

“I think this calls for a toast,” David said, already going into father of the bride mode. Granny went to find some champagne and Emma started talking about plans, “the wedding is a week from today,” she turned to the room, “everyone is invited...”

“A week? Emma, you can't possibly be serious,” her mother said.

“We've already booked the honeymoon, so changing the date won't work unless we decide to go on a...pre-wedding honeymoon,” Emma answered.

“Seems you already did that,” mumbled Regina. 

“Practice makes perfect,” Emma turned and mumbled back to her.

“That coat ever play a part in 'perfection'?”

Emma just smiled at her enigmatically. 

The mother of the bride asserted herself, “Emma, your father and I want to celebrate a joyous occasion in your life properly. Up to now there's been so much pain and loss. We lost each other when we had to put you through the wardrobe, then I lost you when I went from Mary Margaret to mom, then we lost you again for that year in the Enchanted Forest, then again when you went back to New York. To this day I don't know which parting was the most excruciating. To say nothing of the past few weeks; will you please let us celebrate?

Emma was touched by this, she knew her mother had a point. She looked at her fiance, “you ok with having our nice quiet wedding turned into the event of the century?”

“I am fine with it; I think your mother makes a good point about celebrating.”

“Working on those brownie points with your future mother-in-law; cute and smart, I may have to watch out for that.” She then addressed her mother, “you want to turn this into one of those Enchanted Forest three day...festival...event things, don't you?”

“You are a princess,” her mother answered. This was a truth Emma still struggled to wrap her head around. 

“All right; just don't go crazy and...dress the dwarfs up as cupids and have them throw rose petals down the aisle, or something,” she shuddered, “well, that was a visual I didn't need.” 

“As if we'd agree to that,” protested Leroy.

Snow practically jumped off the seat with excitement.

“And no tulle on the Jolly Roger, that is non-negotiable.”

“Not even black tulle?” 

“No. Why do I have the feeling that over the top will only be a starting point for this wedding?” Emma wondered aloud to no one in particular, but there was a part of her that was enjoying making her mother happy by indulging in this wedding. 

By now the champagne had been poured. David and Snow rose from their seat and stood next to each other at the end of the table. David raised his glass and said, “Of all the dreams Snow and I held for our daughter, the hope that she would someday find her own true love was at the top of the list.” Emma put her glass and Killian's back on the table and snuggled in to him, knowing she would not be able to keep her emotions in check without him. He put his arm around her and held her tightly. David continued, “I've watched the struggles, dried the tears, well, Emma's anyway;” this actually evoked a small laugh from Emma, which was good because she was about to start crying, Killian held her more tightly. “...and seen Killian fight to bring Emma home to us. Thank you for succeeding.” He met Killian's eyes and Killian realized that his future in-laws didn't have such a low opinion of him as he had been worried about recently. David concluded, “...and so it is with great joy that Snow and I celebrate the happily ever after of Emma and Killian.” Everyone else clinked glasses but a tearful Emma turned her head up to kiss her fiance. When she finally stopped, he let go of her and touched away her tears. Emma then got up and hugged both her parents at the same time, which was awkward since they were both still holding their glasses, but none of them minded. 

Emma finally let go and kissed both of them on the cheek, then she turned to Henry and hugged and kissed him. “This is the best news ever, mom,” he told her. 

“Thanks. I know it's short notice, but you can make it home from school next week, can't you?” 

“A fire breathing dragon couldn't keep me away, and even if one tried, hey, it's in my lineage to defeat them.” 

Emma smiled. 

“Mate,” Killian called over, “you've got an important job, we're putting you in charge of the rings.” 

“Aye, aye, captain,” Henry replied, thrilled that an event that he had wanted for so very long was finally taking place. 

Emma kissed her son then went back to her fiance. She settled back in next to him and they clinked their glasses together to complete the toast. Of course, after sipping, they kissed again. 

Ruby, who had been sipping quite freely demanded, “tell us about the proposal!”

“I need a minute,” Emma still hadn't quite recovered from the toast. 

Seeing her emotional state, Archie intervened, he addressed Killian, “have you told Emma the details of getting her out of the hospital? I filled Snow and David in on everything.” 

“Yes, I have,” Killian answered. Emma beamed at him and curled up closer to him. “It was very sneaky of both of you,” she said.

“Whole story? This may be even more intriguing than the proposal,” Ruby said. 

Archie and Emma looked at each other, Emma nodded. Archie told the story of the fateful therapy session and his idea for moonlit sailing. 

“Well played, doc,” Ruby said.

“Thank you. I have to admit it worked better and faster than I thought it would.”

“I'm an over-achiever,” Emma noted. Her fiance beamed at her.

Snow was still a little put out by this plan, “you could have let us in on it.”

“That would have contradicted Emma's rebellious and adventurous nature; she needed to be broken out of her hospital prison by her pirate.” Archie pointed out.

Emma smiled up at her pirate. 

“Hence my contribution to get Emma back on an even keel.”

“You did not really just say that,” Emma said. 

Killian shrugged and she laughed, then kissed him. 

“It's very romantic,” Ruby noted. 

“Romantic? Seemed more liberating than romantic at the time, but, yeah, it did turn romantic,” Emma said. 

“Ya think? You're wearing his coat and engagement ring,” Regina stated the obvious.

“My coat,” Emma said, “I appropriated it.”

“That's just a fancy word for stole,” Henry pointed out.

“Nice to know that college education is paying off,” Emma said. 

“You didn't steal or appropriate it, I gave you the coat,” Killian reminded his fiance.

“But it's more fun to say I appropriated it.”

“I gave you the coat, you stole my heart, and not even in the bad way that hearts usually get stolen around here.”

Emma had been about to take another sip of champagne, but instead she put the glass down and grasped his collar, she leaned in close and kissed him. 

“We've entered a whole new world with these two, haven't we?” Regina asked rhetorically. 

They ended the kiss, but Emma gave him another quick kiss and said, “mine.” Then she placed a hand over his heart and said, “mine,” then she turned and snuggled back into Killian, touched the coat and said, “mine.” 

Archie was proud to have had a part in helping Emma recover; but even though he was happy with the result, he was far happier for Emma's joy. Although she was the more ebullient of the two, he could see that the pain Killian had been carrying for years had been erased and in his eyes he saw a profound bliss. 

“Now can you tell us about the proposal?” Ruby asked impatiently. 

Emma looked up at Killian for his thoughts on sharing this. He shrugged, but his eyes were smiling, so she started the story. “I was standing at the stern watching the sunset when a certain someone came up behind me and put his arms around me.” She smiled broadly at the recollection, her eyes losing a little focus. 

“Go on,” Ruby prompted.

Emma came back to the present, “I said I'd like to go to Hawaii someday and see the sunset there, and that certain someone said...,” Killian picked up his cue, “I've heard Hawaii is a preferred destination for a honeymoon.” 

“You have, have you?”

“Scuttlebutt and all that, you know.”

“You can only go on a honeymoon after a wedding.”

“It's a simple enough ceremony to arrange. Archie is well versed in the event.”

“Are you saying you would like to engage in such a ceremony?” 

“I believe I should be the one asking you if you would like to engage in such a ceremony.”

Regina broke in, “you two are downright revolting in your cuteness.”

“Shhh!” said Ruby, “go on, please.”

“What more is there to tell? Will you marry me? Yes,” pretty much covers it, Emma shortened the story because she noticed her mother was crying. 

“Mom?” 

Snow sniffed, “sorry, I'd given up hope.”

Emma reached across the table to hold her mother's hand, “you gave up hope? That doesn't sound like you.” 

She shrugged and said, “it's been so difficult to watch you all these years, to see you in pain, but unable to help. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy...find true love...” She broke down. Emma wanted to hug her mother but her father was closer. He put his arms around his wife and drew her in. She calmed. Emma didn't let go of her hand and snuggled into Killian which created a nice symmetry with the two couples. 

“Please talk amongst yourselves,” Snow said, burrowing more deeply into her husband's arms.

Killian decided it was time to deal with practicalities, “Archie, would you perform the ceremony?” he asked. 

“It would be the greatest honor of my life,” Archie answered. 

Snow's mood changed instantly, “we have so much to do,” she said, dropping her daughter's hand and almost jumping out of the booth. David held her back, “honey, it's Saturday evening, what sort of planning do you think you are going to do right now?”

“I don't know, there must be something.” 

“How about we eat,” Emma said, realizing she was hungry. Wedding planning was tabled as everyone decided that since they were in a diner, they might as well stop taking up space and use it for its intended purpose. 

Killian and Emma invited everyone over to watch football the next day. Snow wasn't going to let a trifle such as a football game put a dent in her wedding planning, so she kept trying to tear Emma away from Killian to look at wedding dresses online. Emma told her to bookmark the ones she liked and she'd look at them during halftime. She was too busy playing hostess, which she found she loved, and watching the game, arm in arm with Killian, leaning against the edge of a sofa. After the home team's first touchdown, she declared a new tradition for Killian and herself. “You get a kiss for every point scored; and it's cumulative. Seven points, seven kisses; fourteen points, fourteen kisses; twenty-one points, twenty-one kisses; and so on. What do you think of that idea?” 

“I say I love rooting for a team with a great offense.”

She whispered in his ear, “just wait to see how a pick six is celebrated.” 

Killian lost his balance a little and Emma grinned. He swallowed and said, “the mind boggles; and I'm ecstatic to root for a team with a fantastic defense.” 

Unfortunately, Killian didn't get to experience a pick six celebration during this game, which was probably just as well as Emma hadn't decided exactly how to celebrate as any thought she had was something that could not be done in the presence of others. 

And so, the next Saturday, at sunset, through a little hard work, and a lot of magic, Emma and Killian stood on the stern of the Jolly Roger, which was not draped in tulle, and said their vows. They kept the ship at dock so guests could be seated there. David and Snow escorted their daughter to her groom, she looked every bit the fairy tale princess. Emma took Killian's hand and stood with him on the spot where they had become engaged. Archie had never been happier at a ceremony, to see the journey Emma and Killian had taken come to such a beautiful moment after so much heartbreak made this wedding his favorite out of all those he ever performed, so it was with great pride that he said, “Emma, will you take this man to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?”

“I will,” she answered, beaming. 

“Killian, will you take this woman to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?” 

“I will,” he answered, gazing into her eyes.

They'd arranged to say their own vows at this moment, Emma started, “Killian, I vow to fight for us, to bring as much joy into your life that I can, and live in a way so that you are secure in the knowledge that I love you.” Somehow they clasped hands even more tightly. 

“Emma, I vow to fight for us, to be your safe harbor through the storms of life, and to be your champion forever.

There was nothing they wanted to do more at this moment than kiss, but that was going to have to wait. Archie motioned for Henry and he walked over to them. He performed the duty with which he had been charged by opening the box containing the wedding rings. Emma had nixed the froufrou pillow her mother wanted Henry to carry the rings on, he stood proudly, and gratefully, before them. 

“Emma,” Archie prodded. She took Killian's ring from the box, placed it on his finger and said, “with this ring, I thee wed.” 

Killian removed Emma's ring from the box and said, “with this ring I thee wed,” as he placed it on her finger. 

Archie nodded and Henry went back to his seat. Snow was openly crying by this point and Emma was glad to see that her mother was happy for them. Archie finished the ceremony, “may you live happily ever after, please share true love's kiss.” The citizens of Storybrooke were in agreement that they had never seen that declaration so radiantly fulfilled.

The reception was held on the beach, where Snow could indulge in her tulle wishes on the tables and the chairs and the tents. Under the moonlight, Killian and Emma danced to the same music they danced to in the Enchanted Forest. No guests had to obnoxiously hit their glasses with silverware as Emma and Killian were doing enough kissing without needing to be prompted. No one was more surprised than Regina when she caught the bouquet, especially since she hadn't been vying for it. Ruby was thrilled when she won the, “what time will the newlyweds ditch the party?” pool. The newlyweds thought they had distracted everyone enough so that they didn't notice their departure, but they were only fooling themselves. No one really minded them being gone, they had plenty of fun without them. 

Emma and Killian crossed the threshold of their house. Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

“What is it, love?” her husband asked. 

She looked at him, “I found it,” she touched his heart, “home, I'm finally home.” 

“Welcome home,” he said just before he drew her close and they kissed to seal home in their hearts. 

And they lived happily ever after. 

.


End file.
